Breaking News, really?
While on a business trip (writing from the Austin Airport now), I was obligated in the Hotel breakfast area, various restaurant “lobbies” and the airport to watch CNN. Every time I stopped averting my eyes, it was “Breaking News”. At first, I actually wanted to see what the deal was – maybe Hurricane Dolly was taking a random turn north to wreak havoc with my return flights, maybe some tragic event occurred somewhere in the world, maybe…No, sadly, it was breaking news that Sen. Obama (D-IL) was visiting with foreign dignitaries in the Middle East. I’m sure this is front and center on most newspapers too (unless it gets bumped by chapter 10 on a decade-old Cold Case tragic unsolved murder…cough…cough…WaPo, oh it looks like chapter 11 is up today and trust me, I am truly sorry for her family, but the first few chapters were above-the-fold, front page, above articles I would consider much more relevant and important).
They truly are breaking (the) news.
GorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. Some of the products he has introduced from the future include oven mitts, the Guinness widget, Oxy-Clean, and Dr. Pepper. Due to his immense cybernetic brain, GorT is able to produce a post in 0.023 seconds and research it in even less time. Only ’Puter spends less time on research. GorT speaks entirely in zeros and ones, but occasionally throws in a ڭ to annoy the Volgi. He is a massive proponent of science, technology, and energy development, and enjoys nothing more than taking the Czar’s more interesting scientific theories, going into the past, publishing them as his own, and then returning to take credit for them. He is the only Gormogon who is capable of doing math. Possessed of incredible strength, he understands the awesome responsibility that follows and only uses it to hurt people.