Ghettoputer’s Weapon of Choice
While most of the amusement in this story is an inside, high school joke for us three, I figured I’d post it anyway:
ORANGE COUNTY, Fla. — Orange County investigators searched for three men who robbed a Roma’s Pizza Shop on Texas Avenue and Americana Boulevard (see map) Friday morning. Deputies said the suspects hit an employee over the head with a tire iron.
“It was real fast, came in demanded the money, took the money and went right back out, couple of seconds,” said Detective Jason Moorehead of the Orange County Sherriff’s Office.
Investigators said the suspects took off with around $400. Police said there were no surveillance cameras inside or outside of the store.
Deputies used dogs to try and track down the suspects, but did not find them.
Orange County police have been alerted to the whereabouts of the Ghettoputer.
GorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. Some of the products he has introduced from the future include oven mitts, the Guinness widget, Oxy-Clean, and Dr. Pepper. Due to his immense cybernetic brain, GorT is able to produce a post in 0.023 seconds and research it in even less time. Only ’Puter spends less time on research. GorT speaks entirely in zeros and ones, but occasionally throws in a ڭ to annoy the Volgi. He is a massive proponent of science, technology, and energy development, and enjoys nothing more than taking the Czar’s more interesting scientific theories, going into the past, publishing them as his own, and then returning to take credit for them. He is the only Gormogon who is capable of doing math. Possessed of incredible strength, he understands the awesome responsibility that follows and only uses it to hurt people.