Cab Calloway, a fellow Upstater born in scenic Rochester (motto – Made for Leavin’), wrote a song about the greedy and powerful public sector unions strangling my adopted state. He called it Many the Moochers. Well, not really, but were Mr. Calloway still alive today, he could well have done so.

New York’s “three men in a room” government — the execrable head of the Assembly Sheldon Silver, the namby-pamby accidental governor David Patterson and handpicked successor to the nearly indicted former head of the Senate Dean Skelos — recently decided that with 74% of New Yorkers favoring a property tax cap, they’d better get cracking on something.

From this article from the appalling nicknamed Rochester news paper The D&C (Democrat and Chronicle), it appears that our hardworking public officials have determined that the best way to lower property taxes is to continue runaway spending, but to shift more of the burden away from property taxes to income taxes. Way to go, geniuses! Forget about cutting back. Spend more instead, but attempt to hide your profligate ways by shifting the source of the revenue. Those stupid peons we “represent” will never notice, and we can keep our union masters happy.

As noted in the article, New York has the “highest local and state tax burden in the country, a major factor in the state’s population and job losses.” Note, however, that unionized state government jobs (health care, teachers, etc.) are actually growing, unlike the private sector jobs that support them. By way of example, in my part of the state, it is not unusual for a house assessed at $200,000 to pay over $8,000 each year in property taxes. This excludes the state income tax rates of between 4% and 6.85%, and NYC and Yonkers income taxes, if you are fortunate enough to live there. And don’t forget sales tax, which generally is between 7% and 8.75% depending on where you’re shopping.

These taxes all go to support an enormous unionized government workforce that has benefits significantly better than that of the private workers generating the tax revenue to pay these benefits. The New York State Constitution (Art. V, § 7) actually enshrines a right of current workers to their pensions, without change, regardless of the impact of state taxpayers. And who wouldn’t want one of these gold-plated pensions? A Tier 4 (pension classification for most current teachers starting after 1983) can expect after 30 years’ service at age 55, lifetime health care (not yet a Constitution right, but bills are pending to do so) and 60% of the average of the best three years’ salary for life. Guaranteed. This doesn’t count social security and any 403(b) contributions made. Oh, and the state pension is state income tax free (“Your retirement benefit is exempt from New York State income tax”). And New York’s political class can’t figure out why private businesses and residents continue to flee.

Maybe when the last private sector job leaves the state for the greener pastures of lower tax jurisdictions, New York’s politicians will finally come to their senses. But I wouldn’t bet on it.

'Puter

Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.

’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.

The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.

His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.

He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.

Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.

‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.