Answer: ‘Puter’s Always Correct and the Dem Leadership is Incompetent
‘Puter thought about merely updating his earlier post concerning the fine Senate Majority Leader Reid (D-NV), but this development requires its own shaming.
Earlier, ‘Puter mentioned Sen. Reid, in comments to the press, let slip that an insurer was likely to fail. ‘Puter opined that the clearly foreseeable result of such a moronic statement would be a run on insurers.
Lo and behold, Dean Barnett in The Weekly Standard’s blog provides hard evidence of the all-too-real impact of Sen. Reid’s foolish comments. As of 12:15, four major insurers had lost approximately $6.5 billion in common stock value. And Met Life alone lost 10% of its value. Sen. Reid should not expect any more contributions from the insurance industry. Read the entire thing to get a sense of the scope of (avoidable) damage Sen. Reid has caused.
Thanks, Sen. Reid! Maybe for an encore, Speaker Pelosi can let slip that there’s no earthly way the FDIC can insure everyone’s deposits, regardless of what the FDIC says publicly.
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.