‘Puter gives P.E. Obama and his election staff credit. Somehow, together they convinced a majority of voting Americans that the Democrat party was committed to change.

How come the first thing the Democrats have on their agenda is sending another $25 billion to the Big Three automakers?

One of the largest problems plaguing the Big Three is outdated labor laws that have hamstrung the automakers’ ability to modernize and streamline operations and adapt to changing market conditions. These were passed during FDR’s Democrat administration. The National Labor Relations Act was a New Deal program intended to level the playing field between labor and management, an arguably worthy goal at the time. However, the NLRA has not been adjusted to account for the modern business environment, and this has resulted in an unfair advantage for labor in contract negotiations. See, e.g., here.

So, naturally, rather than fix one of the underlying causes of the Big Three’s failure (the imbalance in the NLRA), the Democrats in Congress ignore it and recommend pumping more money into a failing business, knowing full well the outcome before they do so, solely to placate their contributors. And why? Because the unions are the Democrats’ bag men, holding up their members through closed shop rules mandating union membership (and therefore dues), and funneling millions of dollars in contributions to Democrat candidates and causes, almost exclusively.

The unions are demanding the Democrats subsidize a failed business in order to maintain their unrealistic, outdated wage and benefit structure. This is nothing more than a transfer of wealth from successful businesses and taxpayers to Democrat cronies.

This is not change. Real change would be standing up to the unions and to management and changing the NLRA to reflect more closely modern business realities. The Big Three would at least then have a fighting chance to survive, and maybe even preserve some of their jobs. This would be real change for the workers.

What’s ‘Puter’s proof that unions have contributed to the downfall of the once mighty Big Three? It’s not the non-union shops (Honda, Toyota, et. al) with their hands out. Just Detroit.

'Puter

Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.

’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.

The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.

His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.

He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.

Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.

‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.