As Washingtonians, the Gormogons are required to endorse—heartily—this beautiful piece of Baltimore-bashing by Mike “Christmas Ape” Tunison (of Silver Spring) over at KSK.

While we all enjoy Old Bay on our fries, loved to watch Homicide, and at least one of us rooted for the Orioles (before they were bought by the Devil Hisself, Peter Fallen Angelos), we all have inherited the attitude from our parents and grandparents that the nicest thing the people of Balmer, Murlin, ever did for the people of Warshington was to build a tunnel under themselves.

Oh, and before y’all go dissing D.C.—we’re multi-generation lifers, punks. Everything you hate about D.C.* is because the rest of the damn country sends all their student-council suck-up power-hungry ass-wipes to our town. We mostly ignore them.

*Except the weather in August. That’s just vile no matter who you are.

Confucius, Œc. Vol.

Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu.