(a) Upstate New Yorkers, like Ohioans, ARE Midwesterners, even if it’d crush their remaining aspirations towards East Coast sophistication to admit it. But guess what, folks, if the Great Lakes are your “ocean,” you’re a Midwesterner.

(b) You guys went to Niagara?! And didn’t even tell me about it?! Thanks an effing lot!

Confucius, Œc. Vol.

Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu.