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Funniest Olympic article yet.

The Gormogons Posted on August 16, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 16, 2008

Hands down. Make sure to read all the way through. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

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Posted in Olympics

Insane race!

The Gormogons Posted on August 16, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 16, 2008

I know the Olympics are generally GorT’s beat, but holy cow, what a crazy race the men’s 100m butterfly was. All credit to Serbia’s Milorad Čavić for taking it to Phelps without the slightest sign of fear or hesitation. One … Continue reading →

Posted in Olympics

We’re blinding them by science

The Gormogons Posted on August 15, 2008 by GorTAugust 15, 2008

Besides the fact that Michael Phelps is physically pretty close to the perfect swimmer (length of legs, torso, size of hands, feet, double joints, etc.) the US Swim Team also has science on their side. Hear that, kids? Science. Go … Continue reading →

Posted in Olympics, Phelps, Science

Ha! Foolish small-foots!

The Gormogons Posted on August 15, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 15, 2008

In “you can’t catch me,” it’s still Sasquatch 1, Humans 0. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

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Posted in Bigfoot

Ossetian War commentary — 15 August

The Gormogons Posted on August 15, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 15, 2008

John Bolton is on fire in the Telegraph. Not least because he uses some of the historical allusions the Volgi has pulled out. The West, collectively, failed in this crisis. And he takes the Bushies to the woodshed. Great stuff. … Continue reading →

Posted in Georgia (Sakartvelo), NATO, Russia

Just because I’m fascinated…

The Gormogons Posted on August 15, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 15, 2008

…by octopodes. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

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Posted in Octopus

The Bear Growls

The Gormogons Posted on August 15, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 15, 2008

The question now is whether the bear is wounded by its increasing international isolation, or is it still hungry to reestablish hegemony in its self-declared sphere of influence. “Mmmm, Georgia was good. How about a piece of Poland for dessert?” … Continue reading →

Posted in Crazy Ivan, Nukes, Russia

Gone To The Dogs

The Gormogons Posted on August 15, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 15, 2008

‘Puter is uncertain whether this post’s title describes Georgia’s territorial integrity or the West’s absolutely shameful response to Russia’s naked aggression toward a newly-minted democracy. However, from the AP photo at right, courtesy of FoxNews, at least one Georgian has … Continue reading →

Posted in Dogs Are Better Than Cats, Georgia (Sakartvelo), Jonah Goldberg, Liberal Fascism

Olympimockitude

The Gormogons Posted on August 15, 2008 by GorTAugust 15, 2008

People, let’s focus a bit here on some Olympic mockery that I’ve been lax (ok, I’ve been on vacation and still am, but a quiet house early in the morning lends itself to some mockery, I guess) on reporting. First, … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

It’s too bad…

The Gormogons Posted on August 15, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 15, 2008

…Fred Thompson‘s never run for president. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

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Posted in Fred Thompson, Georgia (Sakartvelo), Russia

Computers making us stupid?

The Gormogons Posted on August 15, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 15, 2008

h311 2 t3h y3aH!. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

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Posted in Computers, Stupidity

When all you’ve got is a hammer…

The Gormogons Posted on August 15, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 15, 2008

…every problem starts to look like a nail. Europe’s self-mesmerization with “soft power,” encapsulated perfectly: “What would it take,” I asked, “for Europe to stop treating Putin like a democrat? If all opposition parties are banned? Or what if they … Continue reading →

Posted in Europe, Russia

Что делать? — Tactical edition

The Gormogons Posted on August 15, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 15, 2008

If the Georgians want to fight, Stuart Koehl has some ideas on how we can help. He doesn’t mention it, but we should be preemptively providing this kind of military assistance to other democratic countries in Russia’s sights, particularly Ukraine. … Continue reading →

Posted in Georgia (Sakartvelo), Russia, Ukraine, What is to be done?

Ossetian War commentary — 14 August

The Gormogons Posted on August 15, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 15, 2008

Excellent piece in Small Wars Journal: …The return of strongman rule to Russia, and particularly one who regards the demise of the Soviet Union as a historic catastrophe, is now a fact of international life to which we will all … Continue reading →

Posted in Georgia (Sakartvelo), Russia

Mr. T on speedwalking

The Gormogons Posted on August 15, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 15, 2008

So the forces of PC have managed to get this ad yanked as allegedly homophobic. I find that reading way too much in it. But I present it here for Ghettoputer’s delectation, as it’s entirely possible that he wrote the … Continue reading →

Posted in Mr. T, Pitying fools, Snickers

Nothing to do with Russia’s invading Georgia, no, no.

The Gormogons Posted on August 15, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 15, 2008

Congrats to good guy Radek Sikorski (a friend of a friend) and the Polish government, as well as the USG, for getting this done. A joke from the Polish ministry of defense I heard second-hand: Q: When invaded simultaneously by … Continue reading →

Posted in Poland

Lest the Georgians escape criticism

The Gormogons Posted on August 14, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 14, 2008

Here’s a good piece on their apparently incompetent strategists and ignoble recent history in South Ossetia pre-Rose Revolution. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

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Posted in Georgia (Sakartvelo)

Look For The Union Label II (Electric Boogaloo)

The Gormogons Posted on August 14, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 14, 2008

Continuing on with the loathesome unions and their smarmy factotums in Congress, I give you unfree elections! That’s right, our Congress is giving serious consideration to amending the National Labor Relations Act to require that any vote authorizing a union … Continue reading →

Posted in Communist Sympathizers, Nancy Pelosi, Unions

Look For The Union Label

The Gormogons Posted on August 14, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 14, 2008

And there you’ll find corruption and un-American acts. ‘Puter will take a look at two separate items that recently caught his attention, one from his adopted dysfunctional home state of Nueva Jork (motto: “What’re you lookin’ at?”), and the other … Continue reading →

Posted in Creedence, N.Y. Budget Woes, Unions

Уркаїна!

The Gormogons Posted on August 14, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 14, 2008

Wow. Ukraine looks like they’ve realized that it’s on, and they’re trying to effectively lock up the Russian Black Sea Fleet. (Via Michael Ledeen @ NRO.) Good for them. As Krauthammer argues infra: we have cards; we need to play … Continue reading →

Posted in Georgia (Sakartvelo), Russia, Ukraine

Что делать?

The Gormogons Posted on August 14, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 14, 2008

Charles Krauthammer has some excellent suggestions. And he grasps what this is all about: The real objective is the Finlandization of Georgia through the removal of President Mikheil Saakashvili and his replacement by a Russian puppet. If you don’t read … Continue reading →

Posted in Georgia (Sakartvelo), Russia, What is to be done?

Cease-fire ceases

The Gormogons Posted on August 14, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 14, 2008

According to Saakashvili at any rate: For too long, we all underestimated the ruthlessness of the regime in Moscow. Yesterday brought further evidence of its duplicity: Within 24 hours of Russia agreeing to a cease-fire, its forces were rampaging through … Continue reading →

Posted in Georgia (Sakartvelo), Russia

Well said…

The Gormogons Posted on August 14, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 14, 2008

…Mr. Johnson, who’s evidently on the same page as the Œcumenical Volgi. “The Russian invasion of Georgia is a damning indictment of Western, and especially European, diplomacy….If the Russian bluff is ever going to be called, it had much better … Continue reading →

Posted in Georgia (Sakartvelo), Russia

Kentucky Woman

The Gormogons Posted on August 13, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 13, 2008

Whatever did we do in the benighted days when we didn’t have lawyers to protect us from evil malefactors? Why, we usually worked the problem out ourselves, without violence, and without need for judicial intervention. But, to give our attorney … Continue reading →

Posted in Kentucky, Lawyers, Tramps, Waffle House

Bigfoot!

The Gormogons Posted on August 13, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 13, 2008

Lest we get too hung up about the looming destruction of the international system as we know it, here’s some really important news! Now, considering it’s Georgia, I’m sort of betting that this is some unfortunate hazing casualty at GorT’s … Continue reading →

Posted in Bigfoot

What’s In Our National Interest?

The Gormogons Posted on August 13, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 13, 2008

‘Puter humbly attempts to expand on a small point in OEV’s outstanding commentary on the Crisis in the Caucasus. The United States continually analyzes what wars are acceptable and which are not, which interventions are acceptable and which are too … Continue reading →

Posted in Caucasian Crisis, Georgia (Sakartvelo), National Interest

I pity these uninformed people

The Gormogons Posted on August 13, 2008 by GorTAugust 13, 2008

More and more frequently we are seeing people leaping to conclusions without applying any reasonable amount of the scientific method. (I could provide a simple chart explaining it to those who need it, but I figure the readers could do … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

A quarrel in a far-away country between people of whom we know nothing.

The Gormogons Posted on August 13, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 13, 2008

On NRO’s Corner, John Derbyshire argues: Either you believe the U.S.A. ought to commit — in writing — that we shall go to war on behalf of Georgia (Estonia, the Ukraine, etc.), or you believe we ought not. Precisely backwards. … Continue reading →

Posted in Anti Semitism, Conspiracy theories from Saturn, Georgia (Sakartvelo), Israel, John McCain, Neville Chamberlain, Putin that Chekist хуй, Russia

Ossetian War commentary

The Gormogons Posted on August 13, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 13, 2008

Read ’em in full. Melik Kaylan: Having overestimated the power of the Soviet Union in its last years, we have consistently underestimated the ambitions of Russia since. Already, a great deal has been said about the implications of Russia’s invasion … Continue reading →

Posted in China, Georgia (Sakartvelo), Iran, Russia, Unfreeze those arms sales to Taiwan already

Olympics: Sport v. Desperate Cry For Help

The Gormogons Posted on August 12, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 12, 2008

In keeping with the Olympic fever (there’s only one cure — more cowbell!) sweeping our fine Nation, ‘Puter rushes in where angels fear to tread. That’s right, boys and girls, it’s time to set straight, once and for all, which … Continue reading →

Posted in Cry for Help, Ice Dancing, More Cowbell, Olympics, Shooting, Sports, Synchronized Swimming, Tae Kwon Do

GorT’s Vacation Plans

The Gormogons Posted on August 12, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 12, 2008

Sticking with our “what are they doing on vacation” theme, ‘Puter humbly offers up this synposis of the first portion of GorT’s vacation. GorT claims to be on vacation in the Palmetto (Bug) State, enjoying peaches and fireworks. The remaining … Continue reading →

Posted in Bench Luvvin', Hong Kong, Olympics, Vacations

Russian cease-fire?

The Gormogons Posted on August 12, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 12, 2008

Well, this would be nice, if it’s true and it sticks. It’s a welcome distance short of the deposition of the Georgian government I was expecting. If this holds, it’s because Russia’s made her point; now, the ball is in … Continue reading →

Posted in Georgia (Sakartvelo), Russia, Turkey, Ukraine

Peaches, Fireworks, this exit

The Gormogons Posted on August 12, 2008 by GorTAugust 12, 2008

The title is an homage to my fellow blogger who quipped the above as what the South Carolina , my current blogging location, motto should be. Maybe I should stay here. Upon returning to Maryland, I’d have to validate the … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Schmitt & De Lorenzo on the Ossetian War…

The Gormogons Posted on August 12, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 12, 2008

…in today’s Wall Street Journal. Worth reading throughout. However, if you don’t have the time, just read this: Reversing this course will not be easy, but it is absolutely necessary. At stake are international law, energy security, NATO’s future, and … Continue reading →

Posted in Georgia (Sakartvelo), Russia

Anthrax last word?

The Gormogons Posted on August 12, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 12, 2008

Once again from Steve Sailer (I’m a few days late in posting this), here’s possibly the answer to the UNSCOM questions. If true, this effectively eliminates the need to account for a weapons-lab angle. Though that has some disturbing implications … Continue reading →

Posted in Anthrax (not the group), FBI

As long as they use the Queen theme song…

The Gormogons Posted on August 12, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 12, 2008

…for this film, it’ll be just fine. Seriously, no cover version. No thrash-metal version. The Queen one. Seriously. Don’t make me come out to Hollywood and bust heads. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

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Posted in Flash…AH AH

Hitchens on…

The Gormogons Posted on August 12, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 12, 2008

…the shameful silence of the Left about the emergence of what looks like a stable, peaceful, sovereign, decently governed Iraq. Turns out making Dubya look bad is more important than actually giving a damn about the fate of thirty million … Continue reading →

Posted in Iraq

Some very clear thinking on Russia & Georgia

The Gormogons Posted on August 12, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 12, 2008

Instead of a series of incoherent responses to Russian actions, we should get out in front of this problem by defining it on our terms: a sovereign Georgia, a South Ossetia whose future is decided by negotiation and not force, … Continue reading →

Posted in Georgia (Sakartvelo), Russia

Maryland, My Maryland.

The Gormogons Posted on August 12, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 12, 2008

I just can’t believe Ghettoputer didn’t entitle this post “The despot’s heel is on thy shore!” (Of course the despot in question was, at the time, Abe Lincoln. I guess that makes James Ryder Randall an early paleocon…) Best state … Continue reading →

Posted in Abraham Lincoln, James Ryder Randall, Maryland, New Mexico, Vexillology

Obama, the UN, and Russia

The Gormogons Posted on August 11, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 11, 2008

Over at NRO’s Corner, Punditissimo Jonah Goldberg wonders why the heck Obama’s response is to refer the Ossetian War to the UN Security Council. I’d have thought the answer was obvious: the left’s innate aversion to any sort of positive … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Georgia (Sakartvelo), Olympics, Russia, Rwanda, Self-Determination for Tibet Turkestan and Inner Mongolia, Unfreeze those arms sales to Taiwan already, United Nations

This Is Not the Change We’ve Been Waiting For

The Gormogons Posted on August 11, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 11, 2008

Senator McCain whipped out his foreign policy and security bona fides again today in addressing Russia’s “peacekeeping” efforts in Georgia, warning the Russians of “severe, long-term negative consequences” involving a few tricks Senator McCain picked up during his time visiting … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Dwight Eisenhower, Georgia (Sakartvelo), Russia

Also, you dirty hippies

The Gormogons Posted on August 11, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 11, 2008

Where’s your “no blood for oil” now? China’s got the frickin’ PLA in Sudan to protect its oil deals with the genocidal government, and you decide the best way to deal with the crisis is to go to the UN. … Continue reading →

Posted in Georgia (Sakartvelo), Hippies…they say they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad, Russia, Self-Determination for Tibet Turkestan and Inner Mongolia

Where is the Knight in the Panther Skin? (ვეფხისტყაოსანი)

The Gormogons Posted on August 11, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 11, 2008

The Œcumenical Volgi has been on the road and, due to a dodgy wifi connection, unable to blog at any length. Ensconced in an airport with all the modern conveniences, he can finally address the horrific events in South Ossetia … Continue reading →

Posted in Georgia (Sakartvelo), Kazakhstan, Latvia-Lithuania-Estonia, Moldova, Putin that Chekist хуй, Russia, Ukraine

Duping, not doping, the issue in Beijing?

The Gormogons Posted on August 11, 2008 by GorTAugust 11, 2008

So it appears that NBC and the Chinese have done some things with the Olympic presentations that might be less that openly honest. First, according to various sources, the fireworks during the opening ceremony were faked at least for the … Continue reading →

Posted in Olympics

Hush Yo’ Mouth

The Gormogons Posted on August 11, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 11, 2008

By now, everyone’s heard that the irrepressible Isaac Hayes, musician extraordinaire, and, most importantly, the voice of Chef, has died. Among Mr. Hayes’ many lifetime contributions are the Theme from Shaft and the album Hot Buttered Soul. Godspeed, you wacky … Continue reading →

Posted in Chef, Scientology, Shaft

O Maryland, O’Malley’s Land …

The Gormogons Posted on August 11, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 11, 2008

Maryland comprises a small portion of the Greater D.C. Metroplex, and yet is responsible for a surprising amount of the area’s political stupidity, which is really saying something, as the fine political sages running the District of Columbia are among … Continue reading →

Posted in Illegals, Martin O'Malley, Maryland, Stupid People, Tax Increase

“A virtual Bletchley Park of racial cryptographers”

The Gormogons Posted on August 8, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 8, 2008

Great line and very appropriate with GorTechie’s Enigma post.. Y’all know where standeth the Œcumenical Volgi. But really, is anyone really surprised at all this “subtext” insanity? I mean, for God’s sake, the last two generations or so of students … Continue reading →

Posted in Bullshit racism accusations, Conspiracy theories from Saturn, Pomo cretins

No, not the red button….

The Gormogons Posted on August 8, 2008 by GorTAugust 8, 2008

…in September the Large Hadron Collider overseen by CERN in a facility near Geneva, Switzerland will go operational. Now they aren’t going to start splitting or smashing atoms right away but the conspiracy theorists are out there already. We’ll keep … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

You don’t have to be the ACLU…

The Gormogons Posted on August 8, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 8, 2008

…to find this way, way out of line. The Volgi isn’t an end-the-drug-war guy, but he does think the increasing militarization of police tactics (cf. Waco, Ruby Ridge) is very worrisome. I recognize that these incidents have come about because … Continue reading →

Posted in Gubbamint, The Po-lees

Sweet home Alabama

The Gormogons Posted on August 7, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 7, 2008

Where he tries to stab youSweet home AlabamaAnd frames a retard tooAlabama! Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

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Posted in Alabama, Full Retard, Idiot criminals

Riddle me this, Batman!

The Gormogons Posted on August 7, 2008 by GorTAugust 7, 2008

Too cool….I spent 10-15 minutes today “geeking” out on this site. Too much fun. GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Freudian click

The Gormogons Posted on August 7, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 7, 2008

Very funny story from David Frum. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

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Posted in al-Jazeera, David Frum

Canadia, Our Suburb to the North

The Gormogons Posted on August 7, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 7, 2008

Now I’m fired up. Canadia hates America? That’s like the fat boy in high school who couldn’t get a date to the prom and blamed all his personal problems on the jocks who had girls draped all over them like … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

O Canada…

The Gormogons Posted on August 7, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 7, 2008

…stop hatin’ on our land… For the ‘Puter. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Canada

One degree of separation?

The Gormogons Posted on August 7, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 7, 2008

Ok, this is terrible, so I apologize in advance. But a website claims—based on God knows what, so I’m not sure that it’s true—that Bill O’Reilly’s wife (who apparently dated Ted Kennedy) was once, um, “romantically” linked to…well, check it … Continue reading →

Posted in Boyyyyyeeeee, Chappaquiddick Teddy, TV Blowhards

Remembering Hiroshima

The Gormogons Posted on August 7, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 7, 2008

On the melancholy anniversary of the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, here’s a nice post by Roger Kimball drawing from a Guardian editorial and a Paul Fussell essay. Also worth reading is the address of Dr. Takashi Nagai, a Catholic … Continue reading →

Posted in Hiroshima and Nagasaki, WAAAAAR

Best anthrax headline yet…

The Gormogons Posted on August 7, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 7, 2008

…goes to the idiosyncratic, sometimes dead creepily wrong, sometimes terrifically perceptive and funny Steve Sailer. And he’s right—a batshit insane scientist handling anthrax is probably your leading source. Plus, the anthrax DNA seems to be pretty conclusive. I’m still a … Continue reading →

Posted in Anthrax (not the group), Mad science, The ΚΚΓ Conspiracy

How Does One Say “Chutzpah” in Spanish?

The Gormogons Posted on August 7, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 7, 2008

Mexico and the International Court of Justice a/k/a World Court again have their collective knickers in twist because the United States has dared to exercise its sovereignty. Our self-declared freelancing fourth branch of government, the State Department, should tell the … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

“Vozhd” is Russian for “Führer”

The Gormogons Posted on August 7, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 7, 2008

What a crime against history and a hundred million dead that this article has to be written. But it’s the truth, and many successes to Mr. Laar and his foundation. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept … Continue reading →

Posted in Adolph Hitler, Communism, Evil, National Socialism, Stalin

Fr. Woodward

The Gormogons Posted on August 7, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 7, 2008

Speaking of the good father, Joe, you should also mention that his supplemental weekly quizzes were on a twelve-point scale, allowing for easily-scored one-, two-, three-, four-, six-, or twelve-question variants. And, in my defense, I should add that I … Continue reading →

Posted in Math class is hard, Woody

Break out those HPs!

The Gormogons Posted on August 7, 2008 by GorTAugust 7, 2008

The upmanship continues! The Volgi missed the mark as I was too young to have the HP-35. I do, however, own the HP-28S and the HP-48S. Maybe I’ll loan each out to my fellow Gormogons so they can work out … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

“Math class is hard!” —Teen Talk Barbie (1994)

The Gormogons Posted on August 6, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 6, 2008

…and Ghettoputer (1983-87). So, GorT ain’t happy about the tire-inflation-as-better-than-offshore-drilling idea, eh? Well, unlike certain oneupsmanship-obsessed techies who are apparently too lazy to bust out their HP35s’es, this guy decided to do the math. In case you follow in Teen … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Math class is hard, Oil Black Gold Texas Tea

Art Imitating Life

The Gormogons Posted on August 6, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 6, 2008

Will someone please explain to me how this is not typecasting? Have you no shame, Mr. Tarantino? This is as weak as casting Tom Cruise as an out of control, wacky member of cult attempting to pass itself off as … Continue reading →

Posted in Britney, Q.T., Scientology

Welcome to Balmer, hon.

The Gormogons Posted on August 6, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 6, 2008

While this is an awful, apparently nationwide problem threatening to further unravel some of the most disorderly communities in America to the terrible detriment of the vulnerable and law-abiding, when we see that this story takes as its basis fair … Continue reading →

Posted in Balmer Murlin

More anthrax (con’t.)

The Gormogons Posted on August 6, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 6, 2008

Well, sounds like the FBI’s got some very convincing circumstantial evidence, but the fact the guy seems to have been a literally raving loon cuts both ways. On the one hand, perhaps he’d have had an insane motive for the … Continue reading →

Posted in Anthrax (not the group), CIA, FBI

Take Me Home, Pennsyltucky Roads

The Gormogons Posted on August 6, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 6, 2008

Fulfilling a promise made earlier, and sticking with GorT’s vacation travel theme, I propose that the single cruddiest stretch of “interstate” in the Northeast is I-476, the Northeast Extension of the Pennsylvania Turnpike. The fine civil engineers who developed this … Continue reading →

Posted in Hell on Wheels, Pennsyltucky

Maybe there’s oil down here…

The Gormogons Posted on August 6, 2008 by GorTAugust 6, 2008

You put three guys together on a blog and there is some desire to “one up” each other. So, I’m going to submit the following as trumping the Volgi’s “post on Delusional Idiocy of the Week. According to Sen. Obama, … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Cougars, And Not The Fun Kind

The Gormogons Posted on August 6, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 6, 2008

It appears nature, red in tooth and claw, has again thrown a kink into the belief system of those who think that man and nature can peacefully coexist. Glenn Reynolds at Instapundit has noted the accelerating trend of predators becoming … Continue reading →

Posted in Cougars, Demi Moore, Suburban Predators

Delusional idiocy of the week

The Gormogons Posted on August 6, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 6, 2008

Ok, I don’t read Slate outside of Hitchens much because, well, I’m not a pseudo-intellectual poseur. But this article was brought to my attention in which some jackass argues that mentioning Barack Obama’s thin build is crypto-bigotry. What genius detective … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Bedlam, Bullshit racism accusations, Handy and the Human Ton, Hogarth, Luo, Nilotes, Physical anthropology, Rake's Progress, READ A BOOK, somatotypes

Gay Paris

The Gormogons Posted on August 6, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 6, 2008

Ok, massive props to Tilex and Funny or Die. See Paris Hilton Responds to McCain Ad and more funny videos on FunnyOrDie.com See more funny videos at Funny or Die Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Funny or Die, Old Johnny Mac, Old jokes, Tilex

Fat boys! Fat-fat-fat boys!

The Gormogons Posted on August 6, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 6, 2008

Hey, ‘Puter, sorry about your weight problem, but it’s only going to get worse for you avoirdupois-wise sitting in traffic in Truckasaurus going both ways to see a Bills-Argos doubleheader at their joint home, the Rogers Centre. T-Bills logo lifted … Continue reading →

Posted in Argonauts (Canuckistani), Fat Without a Ph, The Fat Boys Are Back and You Know They Can Never Be Wack, Toronto Bills

Too Fat? I’ve Got Yer Too Fat Right Here!

The Gormogons Posted on August 6, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 6, 2008

Apparently, now you can be too fat to die, no matter what you’ve done. Thank goodness. Now Azrael, the angel of death, won’t have to come and harvest Ghettoputer’s corpulent self too soon. I’ve got too many good years of … Continue reading →

Posted in Bills, Cooey, Death Penalty, Tubby Tubwell

Takes one to know one

The Gormogons Posted on August 5, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 5, 2008

Guess who thinks Iran’s a paper tiger? That’s right, Qaddhâfî. Don’t forget to stop by his website. Humanitarian that he is, he wants to ban machine guns! Wonder why. And don’t forget Ahmadî-Nezhâd’s blog. Do check out the awesome “e-mails … Continue reading →

Posted in Guns, Iran, Mu'ammar al-Qaḏḏāfī, Tyrants

More anthrax.

The Gormogons Posted on August 5, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 5, 2008

Interesting op-ed in the WSJ today from a former UNSCOM bio-weapons guy arguing essentially that the anthrax in the attacks was weaponized in such a sophisticated fashion it’s unlikely Ivins—or any individual—could have produced it. Which leaves state sponsorship (or … Continue reading →

Posted in Anthrax (not the group), TEOTWAWKI

Yeah, this is going to end well.

The Gormogons Posted on August 5, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 5, 2008

Tick tick tick. In general, I think the nuttiness of the Islamic Republic is overstated—they generally comport themselves like most rational state actors. However, their rationality has led them to believe that aggression, particularly through proxy terrorism, is rewarding. Consequently, … Continue reading →

Posted in Iran, TEOTWAWKI

You never go full retard.

The Gormogons Posted on August 5, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 5, 2008

Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Ben Stiller, Full Retard, Kirk Lazarus, Robert Downey Jr., Speedman, Tropic Thunder

Your payraise is terminated!

The Gormogons Posted on August 5, 2008 by GorTAugust 5, 2008

During my usual course of perusing various websites, I came across this story on Slashdot. I find it humorous on a number of levels: First, COBOL…seriously. Second, they only started to try to revamp the system 10 years ago (that’s … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Hottie and Super-Genius

The Gormogons Posted on August 5, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 5, 2008

Amanda Peet is my new favorite actor, and for reasons other than the ones showcased in her photo. Since I generally detest actors, it’s really not that much of an achievement to make the list. However, Ms. Peet’s refreshing candor … Continue reading →

Posted in Hollywood, McCarthy Smackdown, Vaccines

I Got My Grade!

The Gormogons Posted on August 5, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 5, 2008

Mr. Ghettoputer, In reviewing your exam, I was troubled by your absolute misunderstanding of Constitutional Law. Of course, noting your less than stellar attendance record, and further noting that on the few occasions you deigned to grace my class with … Continue reading →

Posted in Constitutional Law, Doug(las) E. Fresh, Junior Senator From Illinois, The British Are Coming

Hail to those Redskins

The Gormogons Posted on August 5, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 5, 2008

Let me add my congratulations to GorT’s to Art Monk and Darrell Green, two of the emblematic—perhaps the two most emblematic—personalities of the first, great Joe Gibbs era in Washington. Both men were consummate professionals, utterly dedicated, profoundly humble, and … Continue reading →

Posted in Art Monk, Darrell Green, Redskins, Your own…personal…Jesus

Doo-Doo Do-Do-Doo…Cognomina

The Gormogons Posted on August 5, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 5, 2008

Man, Ghettoputer is back and on fire with blogging ninjitsu. Truly he is a ninja and a pirate rolled into one. In an attempt to keep up the side, I’ve provided a new quiz to the left. Enjoy the question, … Continue reading →

Posted in Muppets, Quiz, Swankistani Sex

Constitution, Schmonstitution, As Long As I’m President

The Gormogons Posted on August 5, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 5, 2008

Taking the challenge of the Notorious OEV (forgive my lack of font knowledge), Ghettoputer took The Good Junior Senator From Illinois’ Constitutional Law exam over his Delmarva Vacation Extravaganza. The following is the text of his answers. PART I. Under … Continue reading →

Posted in Daffy Duck, Death of Meritocracy, Hassan Chop, Karl Marx, Yul Brynner

The Empire (Of Public Sector Unions) State

The Gormogons Posted on August 4, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 4, 2008

Cab Calloway, a fellow Upstater born in scenic Rochester (motto – Made for Leavin’), wrote a song about the greedy and powerful public sector unions strangling my adopted state. He called it Many the Moochers. Well, not really, but were … Continue reading →

Posted in Cab Calloway, D and C, Made For Leavin', Three Men in a Room

An Awesome, Awesome Moment

The Gormogons Posted on August 4, 2008 by GorTAugust 4, 2008

Pictured are two of the classiest guys to ever play in the National Football League and they were finally, formally recognized (one way later than he should have been) in Canton, Ohio this past weekend. Both speeches were moving, I … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Obama iconography

The Gormogons Posted on August 4, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 4, 2008

In fact, Ghettoputer, no you’re not the first. If I’m remembering right, Jonathan Last had a cover story on it in The Weekly Standard. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Barack Obama

Compare And Contrast

The Gormogons Posted on August 4, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 4, 2008

Is Ghettoputer the only person who has noted that The Good Junior Senator From Illinois’ campaign staff seems to be taking style sheet lessons from the propaganda handbook of the most repressive, murderous and unfree world governments of the last … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Rested, Relaxed and Back For More!

The Gormogons Posted on August 4, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 4, 2008

After a week or so of vacation in the scenic Delmarva Peninsula (home of Frank Perdue (“it takes a tough man to make a tender chicken”)), Ghettoputer is back and ready for more of the same! In spite of the … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

Kettō Gaijin!

The Gormogons Posted on August 3, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 3, 2008

Although I have to note, GorT, that that’s Japanese. The Mandarin equivalent is 鬼子, kuei-tzu*, or 洋鬼子 yang kuei-tzu specifically for Europeans, or less offensively, 老外, lao-wai. *Wade-Giles is the official romanization of the Gormogons. But it’s guĭzi for those … Continue reading →

Posted in East Asian xenophobia, Self-Determination for Tibet Turkestan and Inner Mongolia, Unfreeze those arms sales to Taiwan already

Alexander Solzhenitsyn, RIP

The Gormogons Posted on August 3, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 3, 2008

Hero of the Great Patriotic War. Hero-revelator of the Gulag. Hero of literature. Lover of Russia and Her church. Gone to his reward at 89. Да упокоится съ миромъ (Pictured with Margaret Thatcher at Downing Street, 1983) Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t … Continue reading →

Posted in Great men, Requiescat in pace

NBC’s got your back, GorT

The Gormogons Posted on August 3, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 3, 2008

They’ve got 3,600 hours of Olympics on tap. And, as you say, maybe they’ll bother showing the shooting sports rather than thinking, in some bizarro leap of logic, “If people see shooters using $10,000 target pistols to punch holes in … Continue reading →

Posted in Guns, Olympics, Second Amendment, Self-Determination for Tibet Turkestan and Inner Mongolia, Unfreeze those arms sales to Taiwan already

Olympics Pre-watch

The Gormogons Posted on August 3, 2008 by GorTMarch 16, 2017

I’m a big fan of the Olympics, I watch just about any Olympic event, yes, any…try me. Plus, it’s a great excuse to enjoy HiDef channels. Hopefully, NBC won’t disappoint by showing Law & Order:ReRun while there are plenty of … Continue reading →

Posted in Gai-Jin, Guns, Olympics, Sports

A dearth of…

The Gormogons Posted on August 2, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 2, 2008

…good leadership? You mean just because the two major parties have nominated since 1996 a priapic narcissist, a cynical dealmaker, a political tyro of a governor with a familiar last name and a very loose handle on the rudiments of … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Genghis Khan, Nomads, Stupid Mongorians, These politics really suck

The Gormogons Posted on August 2, 2008 by GorTAugust 2, 2008

First, I think we’re in a dearth of good leadership (maybe it’s the cycle we’re in) in general and I’m not a big fan of how the American political system has created “politician” as a career. Second, maybe the execution … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized

We’re thinking of you, too, ‘Puter!

The Gormogons Posted on August 1, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 1, 2008

From his vacation, Ghettoputer sent this lovely family picture. Apparently they’re enjoying the fall up there, visiting the relatives on Prince Edward Island! Picture lifted from Kissing Suzy Kolber. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. … Continue reading →

Posted in Vacations

St. Ignatius, ora pro nobis

The Gormogons Posted on August 1, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 1, 2008

I forgot to mention it, but yesterday was the feast of St. Ignatius of Loyola (né Íñigo Oñez López de Loyola), a patron of the Gormogons and arguably the most influential Basque in the history of the world. We hope … Continue reading →

Posted in Societas Jesu, St. Ignatius, Unam sanctam catholicam apostolicam ecclesiam

If he did it, he got off easy.

The Gormogons Posted on August 1, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 1, 2008

Hey, hey, kids, anyone remember the anthrax murders after 9/11? And how the FBI has pretty much spun its wheels for years, concentrating on the wrong guy? Well, lookee here. Seems they moved on to another suspect who promptly offed … Continue reading →

Posted in Anthrax (not the group), FBI

Anthropogenic global warming…

The Gormogons Posted on August 1, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 1, 2008

…seems pretty dubious to me, or at least a small factor in a much larger picture (since history records, e.g., Greenland’s being green). But the story GorT cites just reminds me of the old joke about the nuclear-launch error that … Continue reading →

Posted in Kalaallit Nunaat, Old jokes, The end of the Little Ice Age, Ze Jello Press

Thrice-bad Mummy?

The Gormogons Posted on July 31, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 31, 2008

Ok, the Œcumenical Volgi is among the world’s biggest fans of the The Mummy, Stephen Sommers’ excellently pitched action-horror-comedy. It’s feather light, immensely likable, and perfect popcorn-wolfing fun. The Volgi liked The Mummy so much that he was in the … Continue reading →

Posted in Alexandra DuPont, Brendan Fraser, China, Movies, Stupid Mongorians, The Adorable Rachel Weisz, The Middle Kingdom, The Mummy, This movie really sucks, Yeti

Maybe I’m naïve…

The Gormogons Posted on July 31, 2008 by GorTJuly 31, 2008

…but I just don’t see how climate change (and I believe man has little impact on it – see here and here and here) is a racial issue but some people are trying to make it one. Isn’t this just … Continue reading →

Posted in T2on, The end of the Little Ice Age, This movie really sucks

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A secret society dedicated to the restoration of the Kingdom of Poland-Lithuania, the imprisonment of Esperanto speakers, and furthering the eschatological doctrine of the Return from Occultation of the Thirteenth Imam, Val Kilmer. Seriously, what happened to that guy? He was awesome in Tombstone. ایمام سیزدهم

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