Democrats are Racist
So say the Democrats themselves. Black Chicago politicians are screaming racism because Senator Harry Reid (D-NV) was pushing for Gov. Blagojevic (D-IL) to appoint a non-black replacement for President Elect Obama.
Couldn’t have happened to a nicer bunch of race and class warriors.
‘Puter can’t stand Sen. Reid, but thinks Sen. Reid is exactly right as Senate Majority Leader to be concerned about appointing an Obama successor who can win statewide election in 2010. It is unlikely that a ChicagObama machine Democrat, regardless of race, will be viewed favorably by most outside of ChicagObamaLand, making the usually safe Democrat seat competitive for the Republicans.
It’s not the color of his skin, but the content of his character that makes any hypothetical Chicago Machine Democrat unpalatable. Tainted with years of corruption, bought and paid for by special interests, and now tainted with the Gov. Blagojevic “how much am I bid for this seat” scandal, the hypothetical Chicago pol could be the Second Coming and be at a significant disadvantage.
It’s not racism, it’s sharp politics on Sen. Reid’s part. Just like the incessant race baiting on the Chicago Machine’s part is politics, albeit destructive politics.
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.