I have to admit, I didn’t make it through the entire 4+ minutes of the Celebrity Pledge video until today. It was hard to stomach…at least I thought so until I watchted the end. For those who want the quick version, cue it up to 3:50-ish and take a listen. Yep, these clowns actually said that they pledge to be “a servant to our President”. EXCUSE ME? A “servant”!?!? Maybe they need some help with the historical and civic foundations of our country. We left England because of oppression by the government. Our founding fathers didn’t want a single person to rule over the population. No citizen should be a “servant” to another, least of all to the President. We elect him or her. They work FOR US not the reverse. Ok, fine, there will be those that say that I shouldn’t be taking this literally – but really between this gushing, servitorial praise for the new administration, particular Obama himself, and the likelihood that these people will likely not put their wallets where their mouths are, is there much “hope” here? Do a little independent research. I don’t think I saw a single one of these people on the top 20 list of charitable celebrities and they all made plenty of cash to do so when you look at the amounts the top 20 charities gave.

GorT

GorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. Some of the products he has introduced from the future include oven mitts, the Guinness widget, Oxy-Clean, and Dr. Pepper. Due to his immense cybernetic brain, GorT is able to produce a post in 0.023 seconds and research it in even less time. Only ’Puter spends less time on research. GorT speaks entirely in zeros and ones, but occasionally throws in a ڭ to annoy the Volgi. He is a massive proponent of science, technology, and energy development, and enjoys nothing more than taking the Czar’s more interesting scientific theories, going into the past, publishing them as his own, and then returning to take credit for them. He is the only Gormogon who is capable of doing math. Possessed of incredible strength, he understands the awesome responsibility that follows and only uses it to hurt people.