Sticking It To The Good Guy
As ‘Puter observed earlier, Citibank is intent on committing corporate suicide by supporting the Democrats’ misguided plan to allow bankruptcy judges to cram down (i.e., rewrite principal amount, interest rates and terms) residential mortgages.
The much smarter John Lott has picked up on the topic here, and his post is far better than anything ‘Puter could have put together.
Why should you care? Because even if you have sterling credit and a significant down payment for your first (or a subsequent) home, you’ll be paying directly for those pinheads who abused the system and/or mismanaged their finances. That is, you’ll be paying a significantly higher interest rate in order to compensate banks and their investors for the increased risk associated with home lending. Currently, banks must price in the risk of mortgage defaults, including foreclosure, property holding time and costs of property management. However, now banks will be required to assess accurately how a judge may rewrite a mortgage obligation in bankruptcy. Short answer, banks can’t accurately gauge the risk. Therefore, you, the chump who follows the rules, will pay a whole lot more for your housing.
Thanks, hope and changey Congress!
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.