We Had To Destroy The Village In Order To Save It
President Obama, taking inspiration from the U.S. military’s stated reason for destroying the Vietnamese village of Ben Tre, proposes to continue to pump money into the failing Big Three, while at the same time making their recovery much more difficult.
President Obama is proposing to revisit the Bush Administration’s refusal to allow individual states to regulate tailpipe emissions. Thirteen states had proposed to do so. This means that automakers would have to either build different cars for each of these states, or build one car that meets the strictest regulations. This will be expensive for the car makers that survive this socialist meddling (guessing each year what the most restrictive state will require) and for the consumers (some requirements will likely be cost prohibitive, cutting lower earners out of the car market altogether).
Buy your cars now, as this may be the death knell for some of the Big Three, with the concomitant loss of the entire taxpayer investment therein.
Thanks, Elected Betters!
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.