The Czar of Muscovy is overwhelmed to accept such a glorious invitation to post here on the Gormogons website. This is quite a smart bunch, and your Czar is as humbled as one (gifted by the grace of God with a finely polished ego) could be.

Loyal Gormogons worldwide (and the Czar is especially pleased by the owner of this Canton, Ohio, liquor store… party on, B&B!) are lucky enough to know how well balanced this group is.

• The Czar salutes Ghettoputer’s tireless crusades against the reckless unions, for we both share a suspicion that the difference between unions and organized crime is that at least the omertà keeps the mob somewhat discreet.
• The Czar enjoys GorT’s soldierly guarding of the economy, business, energy, technology, and the need to protect it from current domestic politics. The poor guy has really got a lot to do because of the present administration hitting all of those at once.
• The Czar depends upon the Volgi’s expansive knowledge of foreign policy, and knows that if he ever needs the proper diacritical elements on a seldom-spoken language, that’s the guy you want.

The only thing that the Czar brings to the table is a strongly implanted dose of skepticism. And that must make things a bit scary, for the Czar may not always agree on matters of science and religion. Conversely, the Czar hates the mainstream media even more so than, perhaps, the others here, for the Czar remembers those who went into journalism in college and why they had to.

Finally, the Czar loathes invidividuals who refer to themselves equally in the third person singular and first person plural, except in cases where it fails to conflict with our double standard.

At any rate, we are humbled to be part of this superb organization, knowing full well one of the original members welcomed us with “Pfft. We need the dues.”

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.