A Humble Suggestion For Sen. McConnell
Quit fighting President Obama’s Giant Technicolor Bailout Extravaganza Stimulus Bill. Let the Democrats pass the abomination of a spending platform on their own. Just require one small tweak.
Insist that any state that takes bailout/stimulus money of any kind have a federally elected and imposed “stimulus control board” to propose and manage all of that state’s spending, not just the stimulus. And only citizens of states that don’t take any of the stimulus/bailout money get to vote for the financial control board members. No citizen of any state taking bailout money would be eligible to serve on any such board. After all, we need to protect our investment, right New York? I’m looking at you, too, California.
In this way, taxpayers from fiscally responsible states can stick it those reckless spending states, while still helping out. ‘Puter suspects there’d be a strong percentage of red states in the former category, and of blue states in the latter.
If federal government interference in internal governance structures in return for taxpayer dollars is good enough for our private companies (see, e.g., GM, BoA, AIG, etc.), why is the proposed remedy any different for bailing out the states?
Just a thought.
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.