Abby, Abby, Abby…
Poor Abby West, who (as we have foreseen and according to our plans) writes this shocking sentence: “Gormogons did exist but they don’t appear to have been all that menacing.”Not menacing? Take a look at this picture, Ms. West, and ask yourself if this is not the very essence of menace. It certainly is to us. But you keep on thinking that. Let down your guard.
Go on.
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.