The Mummy’s Return
Had to read this one twice.
The headline says “Egypt Wants 3,000-Year-Old Wooden Coffin Illegally Smuggled Into U.S.”.
And so the Czar blinks and says, “Why not just send it to us normally?”
“Oh, they want it returned.”
Nice editing, there, Fox. Try this: Egypt Seeks Return of 3,000-Year-Old-Coffin. Hey, this one uses fewer words, too!
Good to see, though, that media whore Zahi Hawass managed to get his name in the news again. It’s been what, two days? “Once again, Doctor Jones, you see there is nothing you can possess that I cannot take away! When does catering arrive? I’m out of Evian!”
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.