The Czar is not surprised by the discovery that German readers are flocking to our site in record numbers due to the phrase “sex milking.” Of course, this is a mistaken reference to an actual post on this site with the cute little title Milking Same-Sex Marriage.

Most web search engines rate a valid hit not so much by the fact the two words exist in the title, but also by their physical proximity to each other. So “milking same-sex” rates pretty darn high as there is only one extraneous word between them. This is purely coincidental, as there was no actual use of the phrase sex milking (and the Czar refuses to Google the phrase to ascertain, although he has a discomforting idea of, what sex milking entails), and is not a stunt intended to draw attention to our website with false hits. We can understand how disappointed readers might think so. Also, high ranking is not only a matter of word proximity, but how many times the word or word pairing (like “sex milking”) appears in the body of the text. Sex milking.

Also, schoolgirl fetish does not appear herein, although references to “schoolgirl fetish” would certainly increase our Japan traffic as well.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.