Boo-Я!
Your Czar, whatever his many faults may be, is at heart a sore winner.
The Czar has combed through the archives to find this photograph of the last night of our brackets, in which helpless yeti, a pile of Macintosh SE30s, and a handful of hottie teachers, is mowed down by Czarist troops. The Czar, in the spirit of the Second Amendment, is allowing them to keep their weapons, too!
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.