‘Puter raises an interesting notion, wondering what the net effects would be of China assuming control over North Korea.

The Czar is not certain if this would be a permanent or temporary solution; China, of course, is not known for temporary solutions (Tibet, Hong Kong, and presumably Taiwan, if they get their way), so we can assume a permanent takeover would be the result.

Had it been temporary, it is possible that South Korean might have gone in for it, despite numerous public protestations to the contrary (replete with fiery torchings of effigies in public places…wow, we hope those were effigies!), because deep down the South must know that their plans for Harmonious Unification with the North have produced 50 years of jack. Worse still, only a minority of Koreans still have relatives trapped in the North…the majority do not know anyone in the North, and probably could not even name a North Korean outside Kim Jong Il. It is no longer a personal goal, just a political one.

However, with a permanent takeover, that would represent a horrific blow to South Korean morale, who naturally might view this as Americans would view a permament takeover of Canada by the Chinese. Not good. Even if either would be a more humanitarian act (just kidding, Canada! We need your readership.).

Japan of course, would howl in protest, but not nearly as much as China would howl if Japan took over North Korea. Frankly, behind the scenes, the Japanese would welcome the possibility of trade with a starved country and the relief of relinquishing an open nuclear threat.

But the biggest objectors would likely be the Chinese themselves (as your Volgi opines just below this). China has no love for North Korea, and the disgust goes beyond the obviously political. At heart, the Czar believes, the Chinese view Koreans as a sub-race not worthy of Chinese citizenry. Interesting, this, as China is herself composed of many races (including Alexandrian blonde-haired blue-eyeds in the West) who otherwise enjoy whatever few benefits they might receive by living in China.

North Koreans who escape into China—and that is the beauty of the suggestion, because most North Koreans believe that China is a worker’s paradise more so than the average Chinese—are actively (but not aggressively) sought out, rounded up, and sent back to North Korea knowing full well that life for the returned refugees is likely and literally over within hours. In other words, China says “We support our comrades below the Yalu River…unless one of them comes over here, in which case we toss him back over the border to certain death.”

North Korea has few resources China would want, except cheap and starving labor; and she already has enough of that to the West.

Unfortunately, the best scenario is still not good: that the North eventually topples and falls through its own paranoid incompetence, and the South Korean economy takes a massive groin shot as it absorbs a catastrophically huge welfare problem by taking in the North. This would never be as optimistic as the East/West German reunification—as bad as things were in East Germany, they were still better than North Korea in its best days.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.