Stupid Idea of the Day For Discussion
Here’s a fantasy foreign policy heresy for general Gormogon discussion. ‘Puter’s certain Volgi will politely point out the myriad errors herein. And Czar and GorT will pile on.
Why would it be such a bad thing for the United States to tacitly permit China to take over North Korea, assuming it could be done without war?
China would be a much more stable presence next to South Korea. The North Korean people would be much better off under the Chinese rule, not that that’s saying much. From a political realism perspective, you’d be moving the NorK citizenry up a notch or two (or 50) in standard of living and freedom.
Sure, South Korea would be pissed off, not to mention Japan and Taiwan, but would the stability afforded by Chinese occupation of North Korea be better than the status quo? We could always couple it with a requirement of U.S. inspection of the former North Korean nuclear facilities, and a tacit acceptance by China of Taiwanese and Japanese nukes.
The biggest factor weighing against such a plan in ‘Puter’s pointy head is rewarding bad behavior. China has effectively permitted, if not encouraged, North Korea’s bad behavior. But by depriving China of its proxy, don’t you end these shenanigans?
And, China may not want to take responsibility for such a basket case nation, preferring to continue to use North Korea as a cat’s paw against perceived Western hegemony.
What say you?
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.