The Gormogons, Finnophiles all, extend a welcome to (we think) our first official non-American “follower,” Paavo from Oulu. Terve terve, ystävä! Hope you visit often, and bring some of your beautiful countrywomen with you. The Czar has a thing for blondes, and perhaps giving him some eye candy will restrain his revanchist desires to reverse the wonderful events of 1917–18.

In the meantime, kiitos paljon, and hauska tavata!

Oh, and Mrs. GorT, who can count to ten in Finnish at the drop of a hat, adds, “polkupyöräpumppu!”

Confucius, Œc. Vol.

Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu.