Upstate Update
Governor Paterson’s wife thinks his poor poll ratings are caused by New Yorkers’ latent racism. Mrs. Paterson is wrong. We can’t stand Gov. Paterson because he allowed a budget with a 9% spending increase to pass without veto in the worst economic downturn in a decade. Gov. Paterson has been ineffective and milquetoast. He has afforded no brake on Shelly Silver’s serial overreaching. Under Gov. Paterson, New York is accelerating on its slide to status as a Somali-style failed state. In short, Gov. Paterson has been horrible, and opposition to Gov. Paterson has nothing to do with him being Black.
And here’s an interesting op-ed piece about the leftie-union front Working Families Party that facilitated the Democrats retaking the New York Senate. Apparently, the Dems now fear the ultra-leftist positions espoused by their new WFP masters will cost them control of the Senate in 2010.
Also, local industrial development agencies have been running commercials here telling New Yorkers what a great service they’re providing in luring business to our counties. ‘Puter calls BS on the IDAs. First, ‘Puter’s hopping mad that a government agency is spending my tax money to tell me what a great job it’s doing. Second, IDAs are unnecessary. If the state government had the stones to cut taxes one percent lower than any surrounding jurisdictions, business would flow back without any government intervention. It’s almost as sad as those “Michigan: We’re Not As Crappy As You Think” commercials with Jeff Daniels.
There’s more, but that’s enough for right now.
And how can The Czar not be Orthodox? The Decembrists will be rising up soon.
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.