The Press makes the Czar cry.

Some quick hits:

Mike Zapler of the San Jose Mercury News refers to California’s deficit, which “seems to be growing by the day.” Umm…Mike, if you have unpaid debt to which interest is applied, yeah, one supposes it would grow a little more each day.

Steve Holland of Reuters discusses the number of Czars (yes, we know!) in the Obama administration, and John McCain’s reaction that the President has “more czars than the Romanovs,” and then feels immediately compelled to explain to us that the Romanovs ruled Russia for three centuries, ignorant bastards that we are.

Adam Goldman of the ever-entertaining Associated Press covers the story of very-wanted bomb maker Abu Ibrahim’s flight from Iraq to Lebanon. Goldberg adds that some of Ibrahim’s accomplices “remain unaccounted for, like [Abu] Zyad…[whose] current whereabouts are unknown.” Seems an incredibly sarcastic coincidence that not only is he unaccounted for, but you’re telling me you also don’t know where he is?

Sigh.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.