Killing Taxpayers Since The 1950s
Any reader spending even a few minutes browsing The Gormogons’ palatial intarwebs palace knows ‘Puter hates hisself public sector unions. For a sample of ‘Puter’s vitriol for public sector unions, look for posts tagged “Unions” here at The Gormogons.
And guess what? Steve Malanga of the Manhattan Institute writing in today’s Wall Street Journal and Veronique de Rugy of National Review Online hate themselves some public sector unions, too. ‘Puter is pleased, though not surprised, to find himself in such good company. Right thinking taxpayers should loathe public sector unionization, as it brings corruption and destruction wherever it has been implemented.
And even ‘Puter learned something new about the public sector unionization menace from Mr. Malanga’s piece. Even George Meany (president of the AFL-CIO in the 1950s, and pictured here) thought public sector unionization was a horrible idea, fraught with peril. Mr. Malanga characterizes Mr. Meany’s position thus: “[Meany] observed that government is a monopoly not subject to the discipline of the marketplace. Allowing these workers — many already protected by civil-service law — to organize and bargain collectively might ultimately give them the power to hold politicians and taxpayers hostage.”
‘Puter is always right.
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.