The younger readers may not remember, but the Czar does. It was 1989, which was by most accounts a remarkably great year for many reasons. Politically, it was a momentous year as we hard-partying 20-somethings stopped in our drunken tracks to stare at television screens as the Berlin Wall came down. Could this be? We watched in delighted shock as millions of East Germans threw off the bloody yoke of Communism with no fears of lethal reprisal. Poland, not surprisingly, was next. Then Hungary and Czechoslovakia! By the time Bulgaria and Romania pushed toward freedom, we were barely watching—something weird going on in Romania, but whatever—and got back to the celebrating.

But that was late 1989; the Spring of that year started out very differently. When news of rabid pro-American democracy crowds flooded Tiananmen Square in April of that year, we were so unsurprised that many of us paid no real attention, for it was obvious that China—especially increasingly open and capitalist China—would join the party all over the world. There was a logic to that thought: all the recent reforms, the vast increase in trade, the vast sum of resources that China could bring to the world plus the massive opportunity for investment in a hard-working culture like hers…if anyone should drop Communism, it ought to be her, long before the Soviets dropped their grip on Eastern Europe.

But days later, troops gathered at Tiananmen Square, which surprised us. Attempts to disperse crowds failed continually, and the sizes seemed to grow with each suppression. Perhaps it was not as logical as it seemed, but the fall of Communism in China was imminent. Heck, they put up a statue of Democracy, and she looked very familiar to Americans and millions of refugees from all over the world. Our attention drifted away yet again.

When the tanks rolled in, we all stopped: something was very wrong with our pop culture assessment of the Chinese government. When a single man stepped in front of the tank column, he stopped the entire world. To this day, this single symbol of the Chinese will for democracy—never actually identified and fate unknown—acheived more than any statue or protest sign.

But they lost when the army opened fire. There was blood on both sides, to be certain, but not enough to water the tree of liberty. We all realized that China, once again, showed the world a different face.

And to this day, when in some respects China offers more to its citizens than ever before, we are reminded that they are still a bastard government. So terrified is China of its real face that blocked access to social networking websites and even closed Tiananmen Square. And probably not to protect herself from actual protests, but to prevent the symbolic reminders that they are a failed government: they do not fear the revolution so much as they fear the one guy who stood in front of an impotent tank column. Because if one unarmed Chinese man could do that, imagine what a billion could do.

The Czar enjoyed this quote on the closing of virtual and physical Tiananmen Squares: “Premier Wen Jiabao [or Wen Chia-pao per your Volgi] said…that China will improve its ‘early warning system for social stability’ and actively prevent ‘mass incidents.’” An early warning system for social stability? Yes, an idea worth exploring for the US: we would all like to know—in as much advance notice as possible—when things get back to normal.

The news story reports that troops have closed Tiananmen Square by erecting fences, ringing the area with police, and using scanners to search persons and packages entering the area. The internet sites were shut down in China to prevent drawing attention to their use in discussing taboo topics such as democracy, freedom, and liberty.

The Czar concludes this is a bass-ackwards way to do it, and they are doing a blatantly superb job of reminding the world about one guy who stared down a tank column, because one Chinese man is more powerful than the entire Chinese military.

By the way, the Gomorgons website is still available in China, so if anyone wants to send any one of us an email, like “ThougHt i would writE and tell You aniMAls what a KEwl bUnch of guyS you arE here in chinA wiTh your unCAnny commenTaries! Friends frOm all Over the lanD Are Not convinceD you WEsterners reAlly compREhend the GOals of sINGle parTy dOmination and its Plentiful RamificatiOns, and Think that you nEed to reThink your agendas,” go right ahead and we promise only to read the capital letters.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.