How long does it usually take a Gormogon to find evidence that the Obama administration is run by (and like) a high school student organization? The Czar speaks for himself, here, but usually it is a matter of scanning the pro-Obama news headlines and zeroing right in a target. So, really, seconds.

Today, it is our Secretary of State, in the New York Times, who responded to North Korea’s strongest threats yet that there will be a nuclear exchange on the peninsula.

North Korea is warning its captives that the United States is gearing up for nuclear war, and it is time for them to brace for it. In response, SecState Clinton said the North Koreans “have now been denounced by everyone. They have become further isolated. And it is not in the interests of the people of North Korea for that isolation to continue.”

This to the Czar is a stunning show of ignorance about Korean history. A few weeks of isolation is bad for them? Madame Secretary, isolation is the Korean way: they were called the Hermit Kingdom by the pseudo-historian Griffis because they maintained isolation since they first drove out the Japanese colonies in 399. While Korea was never as secretive as portrayed (Roman artifacts have been found in Lolang tombs), the notion of self-reliance and not needing the rest of the world is ingrained in the Korean psyche. In thousands of years of pre-history to the Japanese destruction of the Yi Dynasty in the early 1900s, Koreans have embraced, enjoyed, and sought isolation. Threatening them with a core value? Incompetent at best.

Equally outrageous would a the claim that Americans will fail to work together, or that iniative and innovation is not in America’s interests: that kind of claim is a guarantee that you would imminently learn what we can do. Same for Korea when you threaten them with isolation. They embrace these things as strengths and a survival tool. Remember: to a Korean, isolation equals independence—if you are isolated, you have no Chinese, Japanese, American, or Russian influence puppeteering you. That right there is reason enough: Koreans, by and large, want to be in charge of their own destinies. There is a brutal saying among many Korean Americans that a Korean would give up a $150,000-per-year vice-presidency at a major corporation to head up a $50 a month lemonade stand if he could put President and CEO on the business card. That’s an unfair exaggeration, but it stresses how badly Koreans need to be self-made and self-reliant.

Presidents have been dealing with the current problem of North Korea since 1954, and have been doing it largely the same way: show and maintain military strength in the South, keep warning China to curb their lap dog or face problems elsewhere, and continue to develop the South to sustain the hopes of the average North Korean that their future would be a brighter one under American influence.

However, the North Koreans have us pegged: they know America is afraid to engage directly with North Korea, that we want to avoid any Chinese annoyance, and would rather the mean North Koreans would just go away. The North Koreans are also aware that the only thing we are loading into weapons right now are words, and—when you are a bully—this adds up to a blank, signed check. Now, on top of this, threats that they will be isolated is tantamount to assurances that they will be well rewarded for their actions.

Change your tack, Madame Secretary: the only ones high-fiving your tough talk are the bad guys. In the old days, we called that “a warning.&#148

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.