The Mandarin journeys to the West today, allegedly due to some scrutables rumored to exist there—and if so, he shall surely inscrutalize them for us—to which end he shall not post today.

Meanwhile, 孔夫子, otherwise known as your Œcumenical Volgi (The Notorious ŒV), journeys to Muscovy today, and shall sup with the Czar in one of his many banquet halls, or we just might grab a burger somewhere. Depends how far we feel like walking.

Due to our discussions on the upcoming GormogoniCon 2009 (by now, all tickets should be delivered) and well as planning some relatively minor shadowy loyal opposition stuff (possibly discussing—if the Gormogons should attain power at federal and state levels—and assume control of the entire military—what fonts we might want to use on our letterhead)…the Czar digresses.

Ah yes. There is very strong probability that we may not post today, and we put in the very delightfully entertaining and competent Ghettoputer and GorTechie (although the latter may be in time-travel mode, and the former just so damn drunk even that he is incoherent past the point of posting).

Sigh. Oh yes, one more thing, for those who came in late: Confucius (孔夫子) is the name of the Gormogons’ Œcumenical Volgi. He is pictured above.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.