Fiction - The Gormogons

When will the press pressure this administration on specifics? Likely never. The latest irksome event is President Obama’s statement yesterday that the stimulus effort has “saved or created” 150,000 jobs already. I’ll try to keep this rated PG: What a bunch of bologna.

How does one actually measure the number of jobs “saved”?? The Gormogons have seen this coming (although it was democrat O’Malley using the term “jobs supported”) so it’s nothing new to us. In the past, presidents have been judged on the number of jobs created or lost. For a number of years early in the Bush administration, the opposition would gripe about the number of jobs lost. Fair enough, that’s a measureable statistic. Then, things turned around and a large number of jobs were created. Again, a measureable statistic. Fine. Now, POTUS Obama wants to be judged on the number of jobs “saved or created”. Why not just say, “number of jobs not lost”, because that’s a really good number, right? Let’s be perfectly honest here: since the stimulus bill was approved by Congress the United States has lost 1.6 Million jobs. If the president’s numbers are correct, then we really lost 1.75 Million jobs and he “saved or created” the difference. As pointed out in this WSJ opinion piece, we should not forget that the Stimulus Bill was passed with the promise that unemployment wouldn’t rise over 8%. Oops. Maybe someone from the administration can come out and say, “what I think the president meant to say was 10%”.

And don’t think that this is a partisan view of things, even some democrats have seen though Obama and Geithner’s ruse:

“You created a situation where you [Geithner] cannot be wrong,” said the Montana Democrat. “If the economy loses two million jobs over the next few years, you can say yes, but it would’ve lost 5.5 million jobs. If we create a million jobs, you can say, well, it would have lost 2.5 million jobs. You’ve given yourself complete leverage where you cannot be wrong, because you can take any scenario and make yourself look correct.” – Max Bachus (D-MN, Senate Finance Committee Chairman)

Clearly this administration appears to be all about how things “look” and not actually dealing with reality. And, unlike the ‘Puter, they are not always right.

GorT

GorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. Some of the products he has introduced from the future include oven mitts, the Guinness widget, Oxy-Clean, and Dr. Pepper. Due to his immense cybernetic brain, GorT is able to produce a post in 0.023 seconds and research it in even less time. Only ’Puter spends less time on research. GorT speaks entirely in zeros and ones, but occasionally throws in a ڭ to annoy the Volgi. He is a massive proponent of science, technology, and energy development, and enjoys nothing more than taking the Czar’s more interesting scientific theories, going into the past, publishing them as his own, and then returning to take credit for them. He is the only Gormogon who is capable of doing math. Possessed of incredible strength, he understands the awesome responsibility that follows and only uses it to hurt people.