Wow. The Czar surprises himself sometimes. A short while back, the Czar anticipated that some Democrats would link the Iranian elections to the 2000 US Presidential election. On a whim, and some prodding by the Mandarin, the Czar googled iran 2009 elections bush 2000 and was not quite surprised, but still set back by the sheer number of fools out there.

Look, if you still believe Bush “stole” the election of 2000, some definite fact-checking is in order for you. Read the link herein, because this is a very balanced, non-liberal, non-conservative, non-spin analysis that shows that Bush not only led and won the election, but it was Gore who attempted the shenanigans. Note the date of its writing, too: it still stands solid because the author waited until the facts were in. The history is very clear as to what happened; perhaps you should be, too.

No, what provides the most shock value is that thousands of people still cannot accept their candidate lost nine years later. Dudes, Bush isn’t even President anymore: your guy is in now. It’s done. And you still express outrage like it happened yesterday.

Further, your comparisons between 2000 and 2009 are not even apt by your own faulty standards. First, the Electoral College serves a massively different function than the Guardian Council. The Electoral College—which many Gore Democrats argued should be eliminated—benefits everyone equally by ensuring that their vote counts. One incredibly ill-read comment the Czar spotted this afternoon was a guy, again nine years after the fact, deploring the existence of the Electoral College and its ridiculous insistence that every state be given an equal voice, even if few people live there. We should eliminate the Senate for the same reason, then. Look up the Connecticut Compromise in your black book of hate since you obviously need an a-ha moment. If you do not live in New York City, Los Angeles, Chicago, and Houston proper, you want the Electoral College to ensure your vote is not moot.

Memo, too, to CBS News’ woefully ill-informed and biased Laura Secor: Ahmadinezhād and George W. Bush are not the same person in the same role. One kills muslims, the other freed them. Heck, they wouldn’t even agree on Islam being an instrument for peace. They are similar only in one respect: they are convenient to reiterating how much you all hated Bush for 2000.

The Czar will reduce it simply, and you are welcome to try to substitute American equivalents into this schema: Iran is run by a 12th Century dictatorship, who is without question and without limit. He picks four candidates whom he feels will best represent his secular interests nationally and internationally. The guardian council, whom he hand picks, oversees the election process: Iranians are free to vote for any of the four candidates, but only those four. The Guardian Council collects those votes, and basically asks the Supreme Leader who should win. This may or may not agree with the popular vote, but the popular vote is important only if the two coincide. Otherwise, they count for nothing at all. Ironically, Ahmadinezhād appears to be the winner anyway, which the recount will soon confirm. That’s the story, bottom-line. No fraud. No upswell of democratic reform. No stolen election. These things only matter in functioning democracies, which Iran is most certainly not. And yes, many liberals claims this description, somehow to them, was America under Bush. The unspeakable reality is that, were this in any way true, every single liberal blogger would have been imprisoned and executed nine years ago. Their continued existence shows how wrong the analogy is.

It occurs to the Czar that memories of 2000 do not fade over time; rather, they grow more inaccurate and fantasist. The great Y2K fear that computers would roll over and be stuck in a 00-year-loop never came to pass; instead, it is the Democrats’ imaginations that never seem to get to 2001.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.