Your Volgi called it early.

The Czar is starting to concede that POTUS Obama’s “get off your asses” speech in Ghana to Africa as a whole might prove to be a very good thing. Indeed, it might be the most polished piece of foreign policy he has exhibited yet. Your Volgi predicted his speech might be better received by the populace than by the powers, and indeed all of the quotes the Czar reads by Africans of all nations seems to be some flavor of “About time someone said it.”

Generally, your left-leaning personality takes a different view on Africa: all they need is more money. More and more and more American money will fix Africa. Send food, clothing, and medicine to Africa, and everything will change. Except the money never seems to get past government pockets, while the food and medicine rot on docks. Generally, the Czar thinks Africa is so far mired in corruption that it will never move so long as the American dollars keep rolling in. Like a stereotype of a homeless guy who refuses real help because being homeless pays so well.

So when President Obama—and let’s be blunt here; the Czar may have had one or two differences with the way the man approaches foreign policy—says he is not apologizing for America, he is not promising more aid, and that he is not going to swoop in and liberate Africa, the Czar is surprised. Shocked, even, when he takes a strongly conservative philosophy: you got yourselves here, not America or Europe; now get yourselves out.

If the President wants to continue making speeches, he ought to make a lot more like this.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.