“Hi. I love balls. I really, really love balls. I mean, I can’t get off without handling balls.

“What?

“Gay? I wish! If I were gay there’d be no problem! No, what I have is a romantic abnormality—one so unbelievable that it must be hidden from the public at all cost. You see…”*

*Quoth Troy McClure in “A Fish Called Selma.” You might remember him from such films as The Boatjacking of Supership ’79, Calling All Quakers, The Erotic Adventures of Hercules, The Verdict Was Mail Fraud, and Good-Time Slim, Uncle Doobie, and the Great ’Frisco Freak-Out.

[Via Drudge]

Confucius, Œc. Vol.

Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu.