Tweaking the renowned philosopher Forrest Gump, “Arrogant is as arrogant does.” ‘Puter, as any student of Washington, has known that many Congressmen are self-important blowhards with thinly-veiled disregard for their constituents. In recent days, at town hall meetings across the country, the veil has completely fallen. Congressmen are on tape treating constituents as brain damaged incompetents for daring to question the wisdom of the health care reform package God Himself handed down to President Obama on Mount Sinai.

Interestingly, all of the snark and condescension seems to be originating with Democrats. Here are but a few of the worst offenders. Drop ‘Puter a line if you’re aware of others not included here.

Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA) held a town hall meeting yesterday. Rep. Frank was his usual abrasive, arrogant self. In the course of the meeting, he asked on constituent “On what planet do you spend most of your time?” Responding to another constituent, the ever-thoughtful Rep. Frank stated “trying to have a conversation with you would be like trying to argue with a dining room table.” Watch the entire sorry episode here.

Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-TX) answered her cell phone in the middle of a cancer survivor’s question regarding health care at her town hall meeting. She proceeded to ignore the questioner, chatting away while her constituents wait. Watch here, if you can stomach the callous disregard of a Congresswoman for her constituents.

Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) (Speaker of the House) and Rep. Steny Hoyer (D-MD) (House Majority Leader) penned an op-ed piece in America’s high school newspaper of record (USA Today) this week calling health care reform critics as “un-American” because they attempt to stifle debate. Based on the Representatives’ new found position, ‘Puter awaits the Representatives’ denunciations of Code Pink’s disruptions at the Republican National Convention, the SEIU union goons who beat down a black man for handing out Gasden flags, 9-11 Truthers disrupting a live Geraldo Rivera spot on Fox News, and the White House’s creepy “report your neighbor for his opposition to health care reform” website.

Sen. Harry Reid (D-NV) called those who dare oppose the Democrats’ health care reform plan “evil mongers.” People who disagree with Democrats, you see, are not opponents to be reasoned with. They are evil. Only an evil person could deny a government takeover of one-seventh of the American economy — one that puts cost savings first and patients second — is a necessary good.

Rep. Eric Massa (D-NY) stated that he would “vote adamantly against the interests of [his] district.” Oh. So the people who elected you ought to have no bearing on your decision because you know what’s best for them. Rep. Massa committed a gaffe here, which is where a politician accidentally tells the truth. Democrats actually believe they know better than their constituents, and that it is a politician’s job to create a paternalistic, all-powerful, cradle-to-grave government welfare state. And woe betide those who oppose their plans.

‘Puter’s come to the following conclusion about the members of the Axis of Arrogance: they don’t get it. Congressmen work for their constituents, not the other way around. If Democrats in Congress continue their arrogant ways, they are setting the table for a Republican resurgence in the 2010 midterm elections.

'Puter

Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.

’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.

The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.

His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.

He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.

Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.

‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.