Can someone explain to the Czar who the foxtrot puts a charlie foxtrot like Barney Frank in charge of the U.S. House of Representatives Financial Services Committee? Is it the deep commercial banking experience he lacks? Or the investment management certifications he missed? The CPA he does not have? Do we know if he can work a calculator?

Shall we review his financial experience?

In 2003, President Bush proposed transferring control of Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae from Congressional control to the Treasury, fearing that Congress lacks the ability, experience, or competence to prevent a runaway financial meltdown of the mortgage industry. It was Frank who opposed it, stating that there was no impending problems with the easy availability of low-cost mortgages to the poor. It was also Rep. Frank who pointed the finger at the Bush Administration less than five years later when the financial meltdown followed.

Prior to that meltdown, he accepted campagin contributions from Freddie and Fannie (who also donated conspicuously large amounts of cash to pet Frank causes), which seemed malodious to many; worse, he had a personal relationship with Herb Moses (a Fannie Mae director), who personally oversaw the implementation of Rep. Frank’s more controversial programs that helped deteriorate the situation, particularly the damnable Community Reinvestment Act. The classic quid pro quo arrangement resulted in Frank receiving campaign contributions, and Moses serving in a sponsor-protected directorship role.

His reward for corrupt and blatant insider influence? Chairmanship of the Financial Services Committee. When asked to explain his dirty dealings? Prejudice against his homosexuality. Looking over his record, nothing he does is ever his fault.

Now, not content with incompetent financial influence, he wants to audit the Federal Reserve in order to restrict their ability to lend as they see fit.

Frank expressed unease at what he called the Fed’s power to “lend money to anybody they want” in emergency circumstances. “We are going to curtail that lending power. We are going to put some restraints on it,” he said.

The irony there is painful, as nothing seems to be able to restrain the Democratic-led House of Representatives from throwing money toward automobile manufacturers, car dealerships, appliance manufacturers, and more. Rep. Frank, especially, is the least qualified to discuss the dangers of easy lending…unless he learns from his mistakes—in which case, he knows better than anyone else how screwing around with risky loans can cause financial chaos.

The Czar concludes that Rep. Frank is no better at finance than Hello Kitty. At least she doesn’t open her mouth about it.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.