Geep—there is no coincidence. As revealed in the somehow-obtained memo from SoS Clinton, our North Korean parolees were hardly in the wrong place at the wrong time.

They were intentionally breaking the law by crossing into and out of China in order to interview refugees. Their capture was a matter of time. Similarly, the folks who strolled into Iran from Iraq did not arbitrarily find themselves near the Iranian border and happen to step a little bit over the line: they walked right into the country and got caught.

Remember that lefty reporters see Obama as one of theirs. As a result, their mindset is this: the entire world is in a state of blessed transformation, and as adherents to His cause, they are untouchable. They can do what they want, because (PBUH) no one hates Americans anymore. Further, as liberals, there are no consequences to our actions. If you are hiking in the North of Iraq dangerously close to well-guarded Iranian borders, there is no reason to take precautions.

The North Koreans and Iranians would not dare apprehend us, when we are doing His works.

Conservative reporters, on the other hand, recognize the world as an incredibly dangerous place with people who want to kill us quickly. As a result, you take risks but never cross the line.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.