The Czar, and it is safe to say the rest of the Gormogons, are hardly fans of the current Presidential administration and Congress. Yes, we would gleefully enjoy a 2010 Congressional enema, and would prefer to see a Republican president return to normal power in 2012.

But until then, Barack Obama is the President, and he is our President.

So when a French-language CBC television show featured a bit that joked about assassinating our President—as well as employing a blatantly racist comment to do so—it is time for Quebec to sierra the foxtrot up.

Gormogons Spotlight On: QuebecLet the Czar explain it to you. Quebec is the most irrelevant political entity in North America; Quebec is a badly maintained theme park with no admission fee. No one—globally—can fathom what Canada would lose by cutting these pretend almost-French-speaking wannabes adrift. No other country will take them, and even the French hate the sound of the language they speak. Sending them off will improve Canada’s moral, intellectual, and fiscal capital.

For the English-speaking Quebecois, you probably agree and yes, this apparently happened months ago and we are hearing about it only now; but are there seriously any French-only Quebecois? Or is the whole French language thing the show theater we think it is? And if you are one of the French-only folks: Continuer à lire de les Gormogons, s’il vous plaît; nous aimons tous d’entre vous, et espérons que vous apprécierez votre visite! You can take that to heart, too.

But do not ever, ever, ever insult our President again.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.