It Takes A Czar - The Gormogons

The Czar is not a fan of the President’s czars. And why should he be? They are but pretenders.

But who are all these czars that the President continues to appoint? Are they advisors? No—because advisors have no authority. On the other hand, a czar answers to no one. And how appropriate that this term should be so freely used by the President, because his czars answer to no one but him.

As you know, cabinet members, defined staff positions (basically anyone with a budget), and consultants ultimately need approval before they can begin work. By using a non-recognized position within government, the President can bypass all that investigation and vetting and put in someone who would otherwise not survive the process. As a result, you may ask yourself why the President would need a czar of some things that are pretty odd or peculiar. The Czar of Muscovy will not attempt to explain or define the position, because those responsibilities are ultimately ill-defined on purpose. Their ultimate goal is to enforce radical or liberal policies that would otherwise not survive public scrutiny.

Bear in mind: these are the folks who have the President’s ear at all times.

Herb Allison Bank Bailouts Czar	Remember when Fannie Mae went about $108 billion into the red? What do you think happened to the President and CEO of that shipwreck? Well, here he is: in charge of the bank bailouts! Who better to help navigate the ship than the guy who ran it into the rocks?
Alan Bersin US Border Czar	Operation Gatekeeper was a program under Janet Reno to stem the tide of illegal immigration. The head of the program simply closed the border closest to touristy San Diego, which pushed immigrant crossings into the more dangerous East. As you recall, hundreds of deaths resulted from illegals crossing through the desert despite no slowdown in attempts. Whatever became of the guy in charge of Gatekeeper? He’s very much still with us. Of course, his progressive reforms when he was briefly the superintendent of the San Diego schools were so unpopular even the teachers union turned on him.
Dennis Blair Intelligence Czar	Who’s the cat who put a potential double agent as CIA director (and who downloaded megabytes of secure files onto his home computer)? And who was the guy who placed an anti-Israeli/pro-China activist at the head of the National Intelligence Council? Yes, Mr. Blair, who seems to either have no intelligence about his cronies, or perhaps merely likes to use people that further his financial dealings between the Middle East Policy Council and Saudi interests. Your call. Our call is that he’s in too deep with a sometimes hostile foreign government to be trusted with our intelligence.
Ron Bloom Auto Czar	Mr. Bloom is a member of הבונים דרור‎ (Habonim Dror, a radical left wing organization of the Israeli Labor Zionist movement that aims to bring socialism to Israel.
John Brennan Terrorism Czar	After 9/11, the Bush administration took quite a bit of heat for a domestic surveillance program. You may recall this, but not recall one of the key guys involved with it. Brennan has denied his involvement…or actually, he has neither confirmed nor denied allegations of involvement by insiders who say he was very much involved in a posse comitatus violation. Which is odd, really, because he has advised Mr. Obama to retain the practice.
Carol Browner Energy Czar	She became energy czar in 2009, which was lucky—since she had just resigned from Socialist International. She was part of commission therein to create a worldwide socialist environmental utopia.
Adolfo Carrion Urban Affairs Czar	Who would know more about urban affairs than the interestingly named Carrion? Exposed by the New York Daily News as accepting thousands of dollars from building contractors in a pay-to-play scandal that sent other people to prison. He also was villified in his native Bronx for destroying acres of parkland to build the new Yankee Stadium without replacing the land as required by law.
Ashton Carter Weapons Czar	Poor Ashton Carter. He was President Clinton’s WMD expert. You know, the things that vanished from Iraq while Clinton was President? He also headed up a terrorism study group with disgraced CIA director John Deutch. He got to work with William Perry on the North Korean problem, again under Clinton’s non-watch. He may yet get to see them develop a bomb. Also, he was a strong advocate of the F-22, although his current employer does not seem to care. The Czar holds out hope for this guy. Like the Washington Generals, he’s positively due.
Aneesh Chopra Technology Czar	In 2005, Chopra admitted in an interview that he has no expertise in technology systems, and has no appreciation of or insight on policy.
Jeffrey Crowley AIDS Czar	Crowley is not a doctor. He is, however, a gay activist, so who better than to reinforce an unhelpful stereotype? Crowley has already come under criticism from many in the AIDS-support community for utter failure to obtain more funding, back research, lift travel bans, and for cutting funding to hospices and residential services. Indeed, some critics believe Crowley’s more an appeasement to the gay community, and has no real value to the AIDS community whatsoever.
Cameron Davis Great Lakes Czar	Davis is an environmental activist who contributed to Rahm Emanuel’s campaign and later swung support to Obama. The Chicago-based liberal advocate has a bit of a checkered past, since his Alliance for Great Lakes organization looked the other way when Democratic Chicago’s Metropolitan Water Reclamation District illegally poured billions of gallons of raw sewage into Lake Michigan. This leads one to believe his appointment is all politics, and has nothing to do with his alleged environmental expertise.
Nancy-Ann DeParle Health Reform Czar	Ms. DeParle does not have a conflict of interest here. Not a serious one. Just a minor ethical one, as she is committed to supporting the ObamaCare proposals, but actually earned millions of dollars from private sector companies suspected of violating Medicare regulations. Good luck with that health care reform!
Earl Devaney Stimulus Accountability Czar	Mr. Devaney is responsible for ensuring that every dollar spent on stimulus is properly recorded and reported. He adds that his team will report on everything, including “the good, the bad, and the ugly.” He is 100% committed to transparency and honesty. However, the website Stimulus Watch tends to disagree with this. Sen. Grassley (R-IA) accuses him and his team of being another layer between “taxpayers and the truth.”
Joshua DuBois Faith Based Initiatives Czar	Here’s a tough job. He’s the guy who is ultimately the Rev. Jeremiah Wright’s handler and muzzle. Despite Wright’s claim, Mr. DuBois is not Jewish. Adding to his complexity is the fact that Faith Based Initiatives is a concept introduced by President George W. Bush. You will recall how liberals decried such an abhorrent concept as a violation of the First Amendment. Evidently not so.
Kenneth Feinberg Compensation Czar	Mr. Feinberg believes that he alone reserves the right to determine how much corporation heads should earn, based on his experience as Sen. Ted Kennedy’s chief of staff. If he hates how much money you make, well…tough. His decisions cannot be appealed.
Daniel Fried GITMO Czar	If you are incensed by the notion that some GITMO detainees are enjoying sunny days at a Palau beach, or enjoying ice cream in Portugal, at a cost of hundreds of millions of taxpayers dollars, you need thank no one but Mr. Fried. Ah, the liberals love this guy. Of course, when he worked for Bush, he was a strong-arm hypocrite who would stab anyone in the back. What a difference a presidency makes.
(was Melissa Hathaway) Cyber Security Czar	The position is open ever since Ms. Hathaway resigned in disgust over what she saw in the Obama administration. Shame, too, because the Czar thinks she was pretty decent. In her place of course is a piece of legislation that aims to force companies to allow unspecified federal control over private access to the internet.
Richard Holbrooke Af-Pak Czar	At least they got him out of Europe. As Ambassador to the UN, Holbrooke attemped to cut a deal that would let psychopath Radovan Karadžić escape international justice for genocide if he just quietly walked away from public life. Holbrooke swears he would never do such a thing, and all fifteen independent witnesses to this event are wrong. His willingness to look the other way where justice is involved should prove popular in both Afghanistan and Pakistan.
John P. Holdren Science Czar	Remember this guy? The guy who advocated eugenics? The guy who supported a worldwide global regime and an armed international police force? Science advisor, or blatant Progressive? Folks view him as a whackjob, but the reality is that he worships at the altar of fascism. Perhaps Friend of the Gormogons (and frequent Castle visitor) Jonah Goldberg could write a biography of him. Or perhaps he already did.
Van Jones Green Jobs Czar	A self-admitted national socialist (ring any historical bells?), he became a commumist in August, 1992. When asked why a massive Democratic majority in two branches of government continuously fail to achieve anything, he explained their failures as the result of Republicans being assholes. He wants you to know that he does not believe the President is an asshole, but that President Bush knew about 9/11 in advance and let it happen for political gain. Update: And yes, this front lump has resigned now. Sigh.
Gil KerlikowskeDrug Czar	Despite some rough patches with the Seattle police department—which this Czar thinks were not necessarily anyone’s fault but the bad guys’—Mr. Kerlikowske left the city with a historically low crime rate, generally hates drugs, and considers marijuana dangerous in even small amounts. This won’t please the increasingly soft ‘Puter, but the Czar thinks he might be the best person around Obama. Seems that the folks who hate him the most are the liberals that want drugs legalized, and honestly thought they heard somewhere some dude say the Obama would legalize all drugs, and now like this guy isn’t gonna do it. One can imagine that Kerlikowske has his detractors.
Ron Kirk Trade Czar	You may have forgotten, but Ron Kirk is another Obama team member who does not pay his taxes. He meant to. All $10,000 of it. And he will pay it. Just not yet. He is also a major supporter of NAFTA, which has in many respects damaged his ability to monitor trade status correctly.
Vivek Kundra Infotech Czar	There is not much to say about Mr. Kundra. Except he has a criminal record for a 1996 retail theft and worked as a CIO for a company now under FBI investigation for bribery at the time he was there. But that was the past. Today, he is in charge of the recovery.gov website that required a $18 million redesign (a task which normally runs about $75).
Mark Lloyd Diversity Czar	Brilliant. Take a guy who advocates censorship and suspension of the First Amendment, but call him the Diversity Czar. Because if you dare criticize his progressive control of the media and free speech, you are against diversity, you damn racist. He also wants taxpayers to foot the bill for the failed Air America liberal progressive talk radio format, since it went belly up on its own due to lack of interest. How so? By using the Fairness Doctrine to require the Corporation for Public Broadcasting to present anti-conservative views that are not subject to commercial advertising revenue.
Douglas Lute War Czar	LtGen Lute is evidently an ineffective voice, tapped for a useless job, and wants to bring back the draft as well as lock down the internet. About the only things he would be correct on? That the Iraq surge will not work, and that the failure of the military in Iraq is identical to the failure of FEMA to become involved in Katrina. Or at least, that’s what the liberals said about him in 2007 when George W. Bush tapped him as a key advisor. Now that Obama retained him, he must be a really great guy.
George Mitchell Mideast Peace Czar	Longtime Democrat, he has been everything from Senate Majority Leader to Chairman of Disney, to a nominee of the Supreme Court as well as Al Gore’s running mate (obviously not getting either). Less promising was his involvement with the baseball steroid scandal, in which major revelations broke while he was still investigating the issue on behalf of the willfully blind Bud Selig. In his current capacity, he has been criticized for being too even-handed and a bit of a paper tiger.
Ed Montgomery Car Czar	Cash for Clunkers was a neat idea, as Dr. Montgomery assured the public. However, as we know, the government miscalculated the demand, bungled the payments, and wound up overspending on the program by 300 percent. However, Americans took to it—unfortunately for Dr. Montgomery, American car sales have flatlined now that the public spent the next two years of car purchases in two months. Dr. Montgomery can explain the concept of “shooting the wad” to his next employer.
Lynn Rosenthal Domestic Violence Czar	Rosenthal is a former executive director of the National Network to End Domestic Violence, which is a staunchly liberal feminist organization that advocates divorce, rather than prosecution and/or treatment, across the board. She is regarded not as an expert in domestic violence, but as an activist for the organization which, critics have pointed out, has done little to prevent or promote awareness for the problem as opposed to advancing feminist causes. Ms. Rosenthal has demonstrated no understanding or compassion for victims, and has been accused of seeing men only as perpetrators.
Gary Samore WMD Czar	Mr. Samore actually seems like a pretty knowledgable guy and a skilled negotiator. His biggest moment prior to this was serving as a non-proliferation policy wonk for North Korea’s and Iran’s nuclear programs. Judge for yourself how that turned out. He also sided with Russia against the US missile defense shields in Eastern Europe. So he has a bit of ‘splainin’ to do.
Gil Sperling Weatherization Czar	Sperling seems to spend a lot of time answering questions about Van Jones’s job: where are the jobs the green economy is supposed to produce? But he has also been stymied when speaking to communities about green jobs and opportunities. When confronted by a county official about federal regulations preventing the exploitation of existing energy technologies, Sperling suggested that communities gamble on imaginary or future technologies, rather than use what they know is profitably there already. Unfortunately, most of his practical advice is inherently obvious, so he has yet to impress anyone with his expertise or experience.
Todd Stern Climate Czar	If you think the data are inconclusive on climate change, don’t bother talking to Stern. He stated in his acceptance speech that the time to act is now, and the days of denial are over. He promises pragmatism on reducing your carbon footprint. Hmm. No more discussion. Pragmatism. Two more buzzwords out of Progressivist playbook.
Cass Sunstein Regulatory Czar	Here we have a former law professor who in 2004 wrote a book that advocated the right of animals to sue humans for unethical treatment, and as recently as 2007 sought to ban hunting outright, and wants to make vegetarianism mandatory by law. Radically progressive enough for you? Hope he overlooks the fact that POTUS Obama enjoys a good cheesburger with dijon mustard now and again.
Michael Taylor Food Safety Czar	Back in the 1990s, the Monsanto Corporation unleashed a run of contaminated genetically modified foods and, separately, a batch of pus-enriched milk that resulted from the use of a now-discredited bovine growth hormone. So what executive authorized, endorsed, and later defended this horrific lapse of safety? Your new food safety czar, again under the assumption that it takes a thief to catch a thief.
Paul Volcker Economic Czar	You know who would make a good economist? A guy who doesn’t nearly tank the world economy by taking the US off the gold standard before the dollar as reserve currency is set up. Or a guy who does not push the US into a drastic recession with ridiculously high unemployment. Or a guy that the President fires because he spends more time raising interest rates on farmers rather than deregulating capitalism. You know who makes a bad economist? This guy.
Elizabeth Warren TARP Czar	The banking industry does not know who Ms. Warren is, as she is a consumer bankruptcy expert. However, they have come to fear her “crusade” against commercial lending, and critics find her an extremist whose experience in consumer bankruptcy advocacy biases her openly against all lenders equally. Her academic theories have been discredited, and her often anti-capitalist attitudes against banking have been declared radical.
Jeffrey Zients Performance Czar	Obama likes Zients because, like Sotomayor and Mitchell, Mr. Zients knows all about baseball. He almost bought the Nats. He’s certainly glad he didn’t. Aside from this, he is one of America’s wealthiest men, who earned it through good business sense and hard work. Many in the business community regard him as fair, but very good at cutting costs. We have seen nothing from him yet, but hope that he gets a chance to do what he does best: help struggling organizations do better.

Let us see what patterns we see. We see a lot of people who are avowed radicals, communists, or socialists. We see Progressives who suffer from fantasy-prone conditions favoring eugenics, enforce vegetarianism, and representing animals in court. We see people who, through criminal acts or incompetence, caused harm or catastrophe to thousands or millions but are now key advisors in exactly those areas. We can find people of little or stretched controversy who are being handled political landmines like cash for clunkers, Jeremiah Wright, or astonishingly overprice websites. Only two of the current czars actually seem reasonably well-suited for difficult job: Kerlikowske and Zients. The rest range from “Good luck with that” to outright horror.

It should be noted that some of these czars have actually been rolled up into approved positions, so please do not bother to write in saying he or she was appointed with GOP approval (like Holdren). Also, we have knowingly omitted people dubbed czars by bloggers and media pundits, but who actually serve in real positions (like Kevin Jennings).

Well, what do you think? Are these the folks you want steering your country? Do they help clarify the influences on the President?

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.