There is so much fail in this story as reported by The Times of London that ‘Puter doesn’t even know where to start.

Two aging female news presenters felt pressured to quit before they were fired. Apparently, it shocks the tender British sensibilities that women of a certain age are no longer desirable as news readers. This is akin to being shocked that English Premier League soccer players are expected to be able to run for 90 minutes at a time. And let’s be honest, Brits. Your ladies don’t want to watch liver-spotted, pot-bellied septuagenarians any more than your men want to watch prune-faced, gravity-ravaged hags. You can see that at home for free. It’s just human nature.

The story gets better from here. In a uniquely European twist, Britain has an “ageism czar,”* one Joan Bakewell. Ms. Bakewell successfully pressured the Beeb’s Director-General Mark Thompson to specifically recruit women over 50 for news reader jobs.

Quoth the Beeb, “[w]e are always looking to make sure we have the best presenters on BBC News — representing a wide range of ages and backgrounds.” ‘Puter will put this as gently as he can: Bullshit. This is exactly the lie told by all quota-touting liberals (American, not British definition). You can recruit the best presenters, or you can recruit a wide range of ages and backgrounds (read races and ethnicities). You cannot recruit both. The two may happen to overlap, but that’s a happy accident. Talent knows no racial or ethnic boundaries, yet finding the presribed number of aggrieved classes is no guarantee of talent. Hire the best and leave the racial box-checking aside, and you’ll prosper. If you have all whites, fine. If you have all blacks, fine as well. Same goes for old and young.

As an aside, ‘Puter thinks it is generally accepted that being attractive is a prerequisite for a network talking head. One doesn’t see too many old, obese, pock marked newsies, except for Dan Rather. In fact, the two age-enhanced women who left the Beeb likely benefitted from this lookist spoils system in gaining their first jobs. It’s only when the system turned against them that they discovered the inhumanity of it all. Hypocrites, the both of them.

Sadly, this victim-group based spoils system, at the expense of meritocracy, seems to be where President Obama and our Democrat controlled Congress are steering America.

*Ms. Bakewell ought watch her back. Our Czar brooks no pretenders to the throne.

'Puter

Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.

’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.

The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.

His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.

He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.

Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.

‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.