Quick: name a utopia that worked. By that, the Czar wants you to name a society that mapped out its infrastructure in advance, performed extensive individual economic planning, established a volunteer military, eliminated financial concerns, and provided for the continuously improved health, education, and welfare of each citizen.

‘Zactly.

The Czar thinks of this stuff when reviewing Jean Jacques Volgi’s* brilliant vivisection of Rousseau and his latter-day bons amis. You may use any reference work you like written after 1990, but all you come up with are dystopias.

Many start with the French Revolution, and eagerly throw in the Soviet Union, as examples of planned utopias that wound up ending very badly for thousands to millions of innocent people. One of your Czar’s pet peeves are folks who forget Pol Pot—the Volgi does not forget, and underlines him as a classic example of a modern-day Rousseauist who did everything he was supposed to do…and killed millions because of it. But let us not forget such diverse groups as National Socialists, Fascisti, Maoists, and the rest…and we must include the genocide happening in Darfur as an example of a planned social experiment that is abhorrently destructive on a massive scale. Easily the top 100 human-made tragedies all stem from these utopian attempts.

Liberals will chafe at this and ask “Yes, all right: all of these attempts at utopia have failed catastrophically. But does that mean we should stop trying?”

Well, it’s like this here: all of these failed, thousands-to-millions-exterminated, economy-ruining experiments have one thing in common. They all originated with Rousseau’s ideals. If you want to avoid making the same incalculably costly mistakes, perhaps you should look to a different source next time. The social contract theory does not work, and its followers repeatedly fail to connect the dots.

Basically, a social contractor is someone who unexpectedly drives a bulldozer through your house for the common good.

*For those who came in late, Jean Jacques Confucius is not your Œcumenical Volgi’s given name.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.