Stuck on Stupid
In a textbook example of Solomon-like judicial reasoning, a New York Supreme Court (county level trial court) justice granted an injunction to petitioning nurses preventing enforcement of the state-mandated swine flu vaccinations for all health care workers.
‘Puter would like to thank the judge for preliminarily finding that the whining nurses have a property right in their ability to infect the sick and infirm on the basis of their Luddism. If ‘Puter’s kids get sick because a health care “professional” refused vaccination, woe betide the “professional” and this hand-wringing judge.
Also singled out for ‘Puter’s opprobrium are additional plaintiffs Public Employees Federation and New York State United Teachers. It’s no longer good enough to suck taxpayers dry and bankrupt the state. Now the unions are for infecting your hospitalized children so anti-science idiots can keep their jobs.
If you want a preview of government run health care systems in action, look no further.
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.