Let us give kudos where it is due. In what may be the Obama administration’s first tangible win, Armenia and Turkey have normalized relations, which is incredible if you have ever spoken to Armenians about Turks.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was present for the signing, along with her Russian and EU peers. This process involved Sec. Clinton, by all accounts. This is every bit as impressive as Saudi Arabia and Israel normalizing relations, although American news coverage is likely to ignore this completely as neither Armenia nor Turkey are awesome places to MSM. So you will need to hear about here.

Gormogons Spotlight On: ArmeniaStill unresolved is any admission of apology for the slaughter of Armenians by Turks in 1915; the absence of this apology sparked protests in Yerevan yesterday. The Czar is not entirely convinced that modern Turkey can reasonably apologize to the Armenians for the actions of the Ottoman Empire; if it is any consolation to Armenians—and it is not—many other peoples were butchered by the Ottomans. Additionally, the modern Turks are about as guilty as modern Americans are for slavery. The Czar, however, will leave this to the Volgi to comment in what is likely to be a very thorough and engaging future post.

But regardless of the Turks’ responsibility, nothing will happen between these countries until they normalize relations, which they did today for the first time in a century. Now, at least, they can begin talking frankly about moving forward instead of perpetually staying in 1915.

And yes, naturally, we had everything to do with this. The Czar likes Armenian food, and the Volgi thinks their alphabet is cool.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.