Cross-Marketing Bastards
If you’re about done shoplifting from our gift store, head on down the road to Borepatch’s place and check out his gift shop. He’s become an internet sensation for his Clippy ClimateGate routine.
The Czar is sensitive to this, because he was an internet sensation, too.
But you can actually get a Clippy mug to drink from at his gift shop. At least until Microsoft sues him.
We’ve got a box of his mugs at our gift shop, too, but his are a lot cheaper thanks to our Shylockian markup. On the other hand, he’s carrying some of our action figures and Legormogon sets as well, so we all win.
We believe he also sells ammo at his gift shop, but you have to use at his range in the back. We also sell whatever random items Sleestak puts on the counter. Mostly stuff he pilfers from the lost and found.
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.