JAB writes back.

I wanted to say thanks for the thoughtfulness and good humor, both are rare enough on their own let alone in combination. And your site has none of those annoying, seizure-inducing flashing adverts!

You are quite welcome; and no, we do not feature the annoying Netflix popup, the story on how a housewife bleached her teeth for $5, or any of the other secrets the industry does not want you to know.

Should you ever be in Nashville…I advise you to eat at the Loveless Motel. It is a gem, and I am quite certain that their biscuits are served in heaven to St. Peter himself.

Duly noted!

Now to a point of politics….I have noticed that a lot of dust has been raised over the “Louisiana Purchase” and the “Cornhusker Kickback” and all the other buy-offs needed to pass a lousy 2400-page bill. People do things they’re proud of in the light of day, don’t they? So, the dead of night voting schedule is telling.
Well, I have a theory that there’s another little thing that will truly outrage the locals here in fly-over country.

I don’t think they’ll be pleased that their modest sideline business is gonna get a 10% federal levy.Seems that the proposed 5% tax on Botox and cosmetic surgery got dropped. Mysterious? Not so much. The way I see it, all those Senators’ wives/mistresses/ chiefs-of-staff (interchange as needed) must have threatened to pull a “Lysistrata” if their Botox wasn’t handy. And the good Senators realized that wives/mistresses/ chiefs-of-staff (interchange as needed) really WOULD look better and less wrinkly with Botox.

So instead…hey guys, let’s add a 10% tax on tanning parlors. That’s right, the US Senate is coming to Betty’s Beauty Barn to fund “health care reform.”

Now, one of my favorite examples of American capitalism can be found in the tiny hamlet of Burnsville, Mississippi (between Corinth and the Alabama state line). The BP station sells the usual stuff (snuff, cigs, motor oil, hunting sundries), plus they’ve got a diner. And they have a boat-repair business that always seems busy. AND…they have a tanning bed. Think I’m kidding—well not even a little bit.

Those folks are unfailingly friendly and they work hard. But I don’t think they’ll be pleased that their modest sideline business is gonna get a 10% federal levy. Furthermore, when spring rolls around, the young ladies, and the used-to-be-young ladies, will discover that getting their legs nice and tan for their “Daisy Dukes” is gonna be pricier. Neither they nor their Bubbas will be very happy at the insult. Hark, the sound of pitchforks being sharpened!

Happiest of holidays to you and yours!

Well, Burnsville, you read it here first. How about it?

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.