Carbie the Climate Clown, Emmett K. Bozo Distinguished Professor of Climate Pantomimology, University of East Anglia; EU Regional President, Union of Concerned Climate Scientists and Street Performers writes:

These conclusions were not only endorsed by the scientific and clown communities, but by a broad cross-section of experts across scholarly disciplines. Among these included the Association of People Dressed Up Like Polar Bears, The Organization of Hysterically Weeping Science Journalists, the EU Centre for Scientific Self-Immolation, Monarchs and Despots United for Scientific Gaia Worship, Ed Begley Jr., and the prestigious International Society of Scientists With Intense Daddy Issues. All of whom, I might add, have a minimum of 15 years in graduate school.

Read it all—but you knew to do that as soon as you saw “Iowahawk.”

Confucius, Œc. Vol.

Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu.