On the Third Day of Christmas…
…the Gormogons gave to me:
Three Guest Spots
and two Boxing Days
and a Hello Kitty in an orange tree
We’ve been busy over the years. Dat Ho was kind enough to pull out the Gormogon media guide as we sipped Brennan’s (except for ‘Puter who was swilling some Wild Turkey….it’ll make you hoot!) around the Christmas stump.
This is ‘Puter from a few years ago (yes, he does like the orange suit) on Dave Letterman’s show. I’m not quite sure what Dave is looking at as ‘Puter greets the crowd…..although who knows what ‘Puter has stashed in the back pocket of that suit.
A few weeks ago, the Mandarin had me take him back to the late 50’s to make a guest appearance on Johnny Carson’s show. After ranting in a few languages, the Mandarin proceeded to show his pet monkey who did tricks by hiding gold coins in Johnny’s ear. Ed was not amused.
A few weeks ago I made a guest appearance on Stephen Colbert’s show. Jon Stewart was none too pleased that he landed a Gormogon guest first. Stephen is always good for a few good taunts. After Al Gore cautioned Stephen about his fireplace and it’s contribution to global warming, Mr. Colbert turned it off. I was a little cold in the studio, so I used my laser eye to fire up the fireplace before I realized that it was a faux fireplace. My fault.
GorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. Some of the products he has introduced from the future include oven mitts, the Guinness widget, Oxy-Clean, and Dr. Pepper. Due to his immense cybernetic brain, GorT is able to produce a post in 0.023 seconds and research it in even less time. Only ’Puter spends less time on research. GorT speaks entirely in zeros and ones, but occasionally throws in a ڭ to annoy the Volgi. He is a massive proponent of science, technology, and energy development, and enjoys nothing more than taking the Czar’s more interesting scientific theories, going into the past, publishing them as his own, and then returning to take credit for them. He is the only Gormogon who is capable of doing math. Possessed of incredible strength, he understands the awesome responsibility that follows and only uses it to hurt people.