Opinions Are Like @ssholes
Everyone’s got one, and most of them stink. Thomas Frank writing in today’s WSJ opines thus:
Defeat and economic disaster have only strengthened this impulse for blame evasion. Conservative economic doctrine, put into effect by conservatives in Congress and the White House, is largely and obviously responsible for last year’s financial crisis. Indeed, in my lifetime there has never been a more direct causal connection between ideology and catastrophe.
Oh. Never a more direct causal connection between ideology and catastrophe, huh? How about LBJ’s Great Society? Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan (D-NY) (then unelected official at the Department of Labor) described the destruction of Black America through government-forced welfare dependence well here. Seems like the federal government destroying the lives of generations of Blacks might well rank up there as a “more direct causal connection between ideology and catastrophe.”
And this leaves aside for the moment that Mr. Frank’s (faulty) premise that the financial meltdown was caused solely as a result of conservative ideology, and had absolutely nothing to do with the Democratic fetish of home ownership for the unqualified, as shown in by Democrats’ unconditional support for CRA and Fannie/Freddie.
Maybe Mr. Frank’s been taking causality lessons from the East Anglia CRU researchers. Dumbass.
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.