The holidays draw near, and our gift shop is overflowing with imminent cease and desist letters! You know your kids would rather play video games than go to church, right? Well, why not reward that behavior by purchasing the latest … Continue reading →
It is with a heavy heart that I wish to extend my apologies to our Gormogon operatives in Australia for the imminent iceberg collision with your fine continent. This unfortunate situation is the result of Sleestak and Dat Ho playing … Continue reading →
In the Wall Street Journal, John Fund has an excellent assessment of the precarious position Senator Harry Reid—more specifically, his mouth—has placed his own party in. It is quite brief, so check that out. Either Sen. Reid is so astonishingly … Continue reading →
Funny thing about science. Sometimes experiments go awry. Even for the Mandarin, who despite his mastery of orbital mechanics, can suffer a hardware problem—especially when he buys his liquid titanium solenoids from Big Lots. So apologies to the people of … Continue reading →
Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Given the enormous strain that the iPhone has put on the AT&T data service (see previous posts for some hinting of this…it happens when you travel time like I do), the CEO of AT&T’s mobile division, Ralph de la Vega … Continue reading →
“More Women Fingered as Tiger Mistresses” Thanks, FoxNews! 'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this. ’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, … Continue reading →
Astronomers last May were thrilled to have discovered a planet around a distant star using a theoretical technique called astrometry, which measures the side-to-side wobble of a star to determine what is orbiting around it. After 50 years of trying, … Continue reading →
The fifth and final set has arrived from the weirdos at LEGORMOGON, and it’s GorT’s Quantum Lair! GorT lives up near the top of the Castle (just in case he blows the roof off, being up high limits the damage), … Continue reading →
Ok, we can admit it now. Cattle mutilations? That was Ghettoputer. He had his (typically incoherent) reasons. Something about lactose intolerance or not liking ice cream or the fact they all thought they were better ’n him. Whatever. Anyway, apparently … Continue reading →
If you’re about done shoplifting from our gift store, head on down the road to Borepatch’s place and check out his gift shop. He’s become an internet sensation for his Clippy ClimateGate routine. The Czar is sensitive to this, because … Continue reading →
The Czar was strolling through the Castle’s second floor cafeteria a few minutes ago when he bumped into the Mandarin. “I just posted a great email I got,” he said. “Bullshit,” we said, and then boggled. The Mandarin replied to … Continue reading →
Having realized that this was not another jury summons or an offer to enlarge ‘Puter’s penis, I eagerly opened this email from Operative BD over at Space for Commerce who writes in: Mara Liasson: “So what if the data was … Continue reading →
ABC news is reporting on how the Transportation Security Agency (TSA) posted its airport screening procedures manual online. The manual contains closely guarded secrets that detail the special rules for diplomats, CIA employees, and law enforcement officers. I know that … Continue reading →
The Czar absolutely loves pictures like this: Almost every splash of light or color in this picture is a galaxy. Let us walk through what happened. The Hubble Space Telescope was pointed toward a black nothing in space. A spot … Continue reading →
Seen at the Grey Cup finals between the Saskatchewan Roughriders and the Montreal Alouettes. 'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this. ’Puter … Continue reading →
President Obama’s Safe Schools Czar Kevin Jennings has, shall we say, colorful opinions. In 2000, Mr. Jennings spoke at a gathering that taught 14 year olds proper fisting* techniques, in the context of gay-lesbian-tranny-differently gendered-coprophiliac-child molester acceptance. Another seminar (tee … Continue reading →
One of the unfortunate souls at the East Anglia Hadley CRU (motto: “No fact too inconvenient to bury”) tries to explain away the looming email scandal in today’s Times of London. See, we’re all morons in thinking that Phil Jones’ … Continue reading →
How about one rescued from the streets of Byzantium (d/b/a İstanbul)? Come on, you know you want a puppy for Christmas. Give these guys a good home. Claire Berlinski uses her entertaining if questionable marketing skills for the puppies’ sake … Continue reading →
So while the top 1% is covering the taxes for us (note that the top 1% only earn 22.8% of the Adjusted Gross Income for the country, while they pay 40.4% of the taxes – the top 1% are those … Continue reading →
As your Volgi is currently tied up on other pressing business, ‘Puter will post to the latest indicator that America has reached a tipping point. Yes, you read that chart correctly. The top 1% of earners now pay more in … Continue reading →
Yep, the latest one just arrived this morning. LEGORMOGON is pleased to present The Volgi’s Inner Sanctum. You can click to make it larger. Slight bit of continuity correction, here: at the actual Castle, the Volgi’s sanctum occupies all of … Continue reading →
President Obama’s administration has declared war and we should fear the enemy. This country has just declared a critical component to the life of vegetation on Earth as a pollutant. They have done this through the corruption of science, misleading … Continue reading →
Harry Freaking Reid. Absolutely ensuring he will not be re-elected, Reid announced that the GOP would have supported the continuation of slavery, had they been around then. Well, in fact, the GOP was around in the 1860s. And no, they … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin was watching Fox News Sunday with Chris Wallace yesterday when the subject of the Hadley CRU e-mail leak was discussed. Regarding the leak and the potential damaging effect that these e-mails might have on the global warming debate, … Continue reading →
The latest from the weird folks at LEGORMOGON has arrived! It’s ‘Puter’s Playroom! Now your kids can access a blog from the toilet, and write just like Ghettoputer does! Click to enlarge. Note: vial of red liquid used to make … Continue reading →
The second LEGORMOGON set is out in our gift shop. Beware! It’s the Mandarin’s Laboratory! Click to enlarge it. Well, what about it? What do you think the Mandarin and GorT are working on? A time displacement nullifier? A trans-polarity … Continue reading →
Yes, it is true! We were not expecting these until next week, but our marketing department got the goods just in time for the holidays. Come on by the Gomorgon gift shop, in the lobby of the Castle (you sort … Continue reading →
If you haven’t heard, Google’s CEO Eric Schmidt did an OpEd piece in the WSJ that focused on the demise of traditional journalism – specifically newspapers and news magazines. You can read it here. The more amusing piece is here, … Continue reading →
President Obama successfully lighted the nation’s official Christmas tree yesterday, requesting that the even be recorded as a successful accomplishment by his administration. The tree contains thousands of LED lights, and will shine in majesty between now and January 1st…adding … Continue reading →
Mail, mail, mail, mail. Our sole Canadian reader, MH, wrote in again. Normally one would not bother with follow up emails, but MH went so far off the deep end that even the Mandarin shrugged when asked what sort of … Continue reading →
If you’re one who doesn’t like discussions about sensitive topics involving the uneasy confluence of religion and politics, stop reading now. The quotes are exact, except where editing marks are noted. ‘Puter apologizes in advance for the length of this … Continue reading →
Subtitled: Baby, it’s cold in this computer. Sure, I’m titled this post as such partially because I am one by trade and if you’ve learned anything from reading our site, we’re right (the Mandarin and ‘Puter are watching you, so … Continue reading →
Sometimes the Czar suspects people send him mail only because they want to see their names in print on a prominent website. Quite frankly, it tends to work. And the highly talented JAB is no exception! You all know her: … Continue reading →
…Goldfarb drags me back in! Let’s just go to the money quote: “White House aides actually made them remove the F-22-said they would not allow POTUS to be pictured with the F-22 in any way, shape, or form.” While the … Continue reading →
From our very first website. We used to have a little PDF about us you can download. Thought we lost every copy, but GorT was able to find one and upload through his XDMI port. How the years do pass. … Continue reading →
At the Castle yesterday, a few of us agreed that Borepatch has been doing the best job out there of anyone in explaining the global warming bombshell in very easy-to-understand terms. The Czar is a big fan of the way … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s working part-time writing headlines for the New York Post. But seriously, when, as a liberal Democrat, you’ve lost Maureen Dowd, you’re in real trouble. Money quote: “Even before the Salahis swept in preening, the Obama staffers were there preening, … Continue reading →
The beginning of this report from Ed Driscoll (you’ll see him over there on the Album Blogorum) is really good at documenting the periodic climate panics of the last century. (The edits are a little jarring, be warned)Though the Robert … Continue reading →
It’s an article of faith among Obama-ites that everything bad that has occurred (and will occur)during President Obama’s presidency is ALL BUSHITLERCHENEYKKK’S FAULT!!1!! ZOMG!!! The sun rose in the east today (on the Mandarin’s command), and equally as predictably, the … Continue reading →
Don’t believe the CBO ten-year number. It’s a fraud, because the Democrats have gamed the system to collect four years of taxes to credit against the number before they start spending. Here’s a graph with a realistic estimate of the … Continue reading →
Fulfilling the Gormogons’ expectations that the climate change folks will be flooding the newswires with anecdotes of Global Warming Killing Everything, comes Fred Pearce’s Guardian plea to find some way to shut the Australian climate skeptics up. Note the welcoming … Continue reading →
Everyone’s got one, and most of them stink. Thomas Frank writing in today’s WSJ opines thus: Defeat and economic disaster have only strengthened this impulse for blame evasion. Conservative economic doctrine, put into effect by conservatives in Congress and the … Continue reading →
It’s a wonder why people even read the newspapers anymore. You would think that some of the intrepid jornalism majors would have aspired to be investigative reporters. We’ve seen the complete ignorance of hallowed journalism mainstays like the NY Times … Continue reading →
Царь наш, your Volgi didn’t watch it, being consumed with analyzing the numerological-astrological-cosmological significance of a six-pointed Oriental fortress. However, what leaps out is the President’s implying that we’re going to try and be out of there in eighteen months … Continue reading →
The Czar thinks the Afghanistan speech was far from President Obama’s worst speech. We also think that some of the early conservative criticism of it is too close to nitpicking. The President took some veiled potshots at President Bush, but … Continue reading →
Webster’s Dictionary defines “trite” as “someone who opens their presentation with a quoted definition from Webster’s Dictionary because they’re too damn lazy to write a proper introduction to their topic.” The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ … Continue reading →
Two things about the mailbag. 1. If you write the Mandarin, he will not reply, nor will he post your fan mail up here. The Czar is not sure if he ever has. Mandy does read your fan mail, though, … Continue reading →
So big the Chinese are making CGI simulations of different theories of his car accident. Don’t let people tell you being a celebrity is fun. Also, CGI Tiger apparently drives a pretty beat minivan instead of a (doubtless comped) 2009 … Continue reading →
Today, in the course of his gainful employ, ‘Puter was tasked with gathering certain information regarding deed stamps (property transfer tax) forms in New York. ‘Puter called the custodian of these records and politely asked whether, in fact, the forms … Continue reading →
When Bad Astronomy dismissed the Hadley CRU incident as ultimately trivial and meaningless, the comments section really lit up. There is, of course, a mix of good and bad comments from both sides of the argument. But comment 115 by … Continue reading →
…the Gormogons pester their Œcumenical Volgi thusly: The Czar: Write more about foreign policy, узкоглазный, or I will have you shipped to Semipalatinsk with the rest of the shirkers! GorT: Yesterday you will write less about foreign policy; tomorrow you … Continue reading →
Like this guy’s. Blog title from a cult of “Bones” villains (spelling doesn’t count). Val Kilmer–in his only award worthy performance–as Doc Holliday in the sidebar. Post art complimenting snark on a par with McGoo or Yours Egomaniacally. And, of … Continue reading →
Hysteria? Nonsense. Don’t forget, Царь наш, that we’ve already scientifically documented that Global Warming causes a whole lotta stuff. Via Jonah Goldberg. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Ready for another easy prediction? You will soon be seeing a helluva lot more of news, pseudo-news, and quasi-news reports like this. Every flood, every hurricane, every rain possibility that jumps from 20% to 40%, will be written up to … Continue reading →
Now headlines are saying that the Large Hadron Collider is smashing records. And they spent $4.6 billion on that thing? For that???? Pshaw, the stupid drunks. The Czar can shatter records with a $200 shotgun. If you can hit a … Continue reading →
Without wading into the philosophical weeds, Karl Popper’s famous principle that a theory, hypothesis, or principle is metaphysical, not scientific if it is not, in some way, falsifiable (i.e., testable), seems to apply here. Whether it’s a Kuhnian paradigm or … Continue reading →
The pro-AGW folks are in a tizzy trying to spin and explain the Hadley CRU incident. To their credit, they are making some fair and even good arguments; unfortunately, the anti-AGW crowd is making vastly better ones. Sure, everybody jumped … Continue reading →
…meet Mike Dukakis. Huckabee? Huckhasbeen. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →EC, a long-standing Gormogon operative in charge (this week) of our Australian, New Zealand, and Latvian region (the travel pattern is weird, yes, but makes sense in a way, and EC seems to be managing it quite well), writes in … Continue reading →
You’ll have flashbacks. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →I’m going to cut through the chaff and get right to the core of the issue with the East Anglia / Hadley CRU emails: the corruption of the scientific process. I’m not sure where these “scientists”* were in grade school, … Continue reading →
…these crappy bootlegs back to the Castle. Oddly, we have two copies of this one, but upon inspection, the other one comes from Ghettoputer’s “special” collection, and the Gormogons aren’t about to risk prosecution in many countries (and civil suits … Continue reading →
Hey Czar, I want you to know that like a good American, I recycle. As a point of pride, I sort my recycling from trash, wash out my metal cans and glass bottles, and separate the plastics by their number. … Continue reading →
An attention-seeking New York trial court judge decided this week that the rule of law is for suckers. You know, like creditors seeking to recover obligations voluntarily entered into by borrowers. It seems OneWest, a privately held bank, acquired a … Continue reading →
Jeremy Greenstock, whom you all remember—actually, no one remembers him. He was Britain’s ambassador to the UN back in 2003, so transfer this information only to your short-term memory because his irrelevence will resume after this post—continues to blame the … Continue reading →
Global stock markets yesterday, and the U.S. stock market today plunged on the news that the Dubai state corporation was unable to meet its interest bill. This crisis has sparked even greater fears that investors owed money by other countries … Continue reading →
“Cap and Trade is dead,” this spake Sen Jim Inhofe (R-OK). Not quite. The Wall Street Journal is concluding, quite prematurely (yet delightfully) that the Hadley CRU scandal is a death blow to global warming. Yes, the GOP is launching … Continue reading →
Friend of the Gormogons Claire Berlinski writes: After the Second World War, the United Kingdom’s newly elected Labour government resolved to build of Britain a New Jerusalem. It nationalized the commanding heights of the economy and inaugurated the cradle-to-grave welfare … Continue reading →
…from the Gormogons! (from left to right, the Mandarin, GorTechie, the Œcumenical Volgi (id est, 孔夫子, The Notorious ŒV), the Czar of Muscovy, and Ghettoputer Gormogon. Taking the photo, and not in the picture, is Sleestak (one of the few … Continue reading →
The Czar heard complaints, which he will not cite for obvious reasons, that the Obama-era Secret Service is poorly run and handled, often with “upstairs” getting in the way and ignoring their recommendations. Great agents, all, but processes are a … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s a little late to the party, as he’s been making Thanksgiving preparations around Castle Gormogon. You know, hanging festive garlands of severed ears, brining the emu, preparing the hearts of palm and pig intesting casserole. The usual stuff. But … Continue reading →
“He keeps calling the junction boxes ‘bunions’ and icing them down. I’m beginning to have my doubts.” Or so might we be entitled to think when the government keeps telling us they’re creating (“or,” they add hilariously, “saving”) jobs and … Continue reading →
At first, they all laughed at what was called the world’s worst police sketch ever. Shown to the right, this is the actual sketch drawn by a police sketch artist in an unnamed Bolivian city. Really funny. Gormogons Spotlight On: … Continue reading →
Courtesy who else? The amazing Dr. Boli. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control … Continue reading →
Says Jules Crittenden. Great article. Grazie, Borepatch. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →You read it here first. I know, contain your astonishment that libertarians aren’t out hanging census workers from trees: A U.S. Census worker found dead in a secluded Clay County cemetery killed himself but tried to make the death look … Continue reading →
And here’s the best tribute you’ll see all year. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →LONDON — Nuclear power — long considered environmentally hazardous — is emerging as perhaps the world’s most unlikely weapon against climate change, with the backing of even some green activists who once campaigned against it. Says the WaPo. Considered by … Continue reading →
Think you’re having a bad day? Not as bad as this guy’s. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Lawmakers in US, law enforcement in UK, looking at Hadley CRU issue. Fortunately, on our side of the Atlantic, it’s the GOP starting an investigation into the impact of the emails. Hooray—in addition to harming Copenhagen, this could also be … Continue reading →
Here’s an actual comment from Filmdrunk concerning the eminently lame New Moon film. (Sorry to crush your illusions, Tweeny Boppers). “ChinoMoreno says: If you are seeking to be bitten by Edward Cullen, you had better dress up as a pillow.” … Continue reading →
President Obama announced today that we will be a surprise attack across Afghanistan next week. “I want to be very clear to our enemies…that we are really going to surprise them,” the President said on the 11th hole at Chantilly … Continue reading →
Lost Family of Three Found After Night In Forest. We celebrate their safe return from their routine expedition. Their little monkey friends did not make the journey. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, … Continue reading →
Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Regular readers here will not be surprised that The Day the Earth Stood Still is a popular Friday night popcorn throwing event here at the Castle. GorT even stars in it, and his knowledge of time travel allows us to … Continue reading →
One of the things we Gormogons are most proud of is that we aren’t all just griping and accusations. Sometimes, when someone does something sensible, we point it out. For example, President Obama seems to finally be making good on … Continue reading →
Reuel Gerecht on Hasan, the FBI, the Muslim world, and foreign policy. (Gerecht is a former CIA agent who worked on Iran. He knows this stuff much more deeply than your average “expert,” even if he’s occasionally a tad biased … Continue reading →
…that this is just a commercial, they got the idea from spending some time up at the field behind Castle Gormogon. h/t Borepatch GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from … Continue reading →
Are you kidding me? A German company has built a .50 BMG “pistol.” It apparently weighs as much as a B.A.R. This is not a joke. 正 H. 名! Once again, the Gormogons’ operational security has been breached. The .50 … Continue reading →
And the hits just keep on coming. The Japanese were, to say the least, unimpressed with President Obama’s supplicating bow. Want to know why protocol requires the President to offer a handshake in lieu of a bow? Subtleties, dammit. Instead … Continue reading →
Dallas News reports that Democratic candidate Tom Schieffer is dropping out of the governor’s race due to lack of support. His departure would leave humorist Kinky Friedman, hair-care magnate Farouk Shami, schoolteacher Felix Alvarado and rancher Hank Gilbert as announced … Continue reading →
Two items from the current issue of Scientific American caught the Czar’s attention this weekend. The second is Michael Shermer’s discussion of the conservative mind and the liberal mind. The first is here. UV psychologist Jonathan Haidt identified five universal … Continue reading →
Two items from the current issue of Scientific American caught the Czar’s attention this weekend. The first is Lawrence M. Krauss’s opinion piece that the Internet has given voice to no shortage of lunatic nonsense. The second is here. Krauss … Continue reading →
Once the Mandarin and GorT get the satellite uplinks working and we can start directly controlling TV programming, the Gormogons will have whole channels devoted to the BET issues program What Up With That? You will either be baffled and … Continue reading →
The Czar is correct in pointing to Bob Wright’s fatuity. Wright errs profoundly in pointing to U.S. foreign policy as the malign demiurge that made Nidal Hasan a murderer. His argument is a textbook example of the fallacy of foreign-policy … Continue reading →
Given the good weather here in the DC area, GorT and family decided it was time to hang up the Christmas lights. Mind you, we’re not turning them on until after Thanksgiving (a family rule – 1 holiday at a … Continue reading →
Somewhere in the distant past, the breakfast committee decided they needed a way to make breakfast sausage more dangerous. Someone in the back nervously coughed, and a tentative hand rose. “Yes?” Another cough. “Well…we could crumble up the sausage into … Continue reading →
Robert Wright, in the New York Times, writes that conservative writers like Charles Krauthammer and Jonah Goldberg are right that the liberal media are trying to cover up Hasan’s crimes by dismissing them as a mere medical issue. An important … Continue reading →
