But Not Too Closely. Some of Us Pack Heat.
Don’t forget, if you are really into wasting valuable time with no end of bullshit, you can of course follow us on Twitter.
The Czar does not understand what it means to “follow” on Twitter. Basically, you are supposed to put down whatever random thought you have in 140 characters? The Czar thinks deep thoughts, and usually does not complete the first sentence in 140 characters. So what are you “following?” Somebody’s stream of consciousness? If the Czar wanted this, he would go back to composing haiku. Well, you can probably time this fad with a goddamned stopwatch.
Anyway, we are Twitter dorks, now. You can usually tell who ignited which twit based on the first couple of letters. Follow us! You will sooner or later anyway.
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.