Many readers have asked for background about the Gormogons. Well, as you know, Confucius is the Gormogons’ Œcumenical Volgi who’s sustained his life unnaturally for centuries through arcane arts. But what is he really all about? Did he experience chaos and turmoil? Did he ever have a shot at nailing a hot chick dressed in a turquoise bead curtain? Was he foolish to hang his hopes on the King of Lu? Does he enjoy raw beef like a Korean? And, most importantly, what was his prototype of Castle Gormogon’s burglar alarm system?

Perhaps you’ll find some answers in this old Super 8 footage from under his pallet.

Confucius, Œc. Vol.

Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu.