Keep Your Roid Rages In Perspective
The Czar, probably like the Mandarin, has received a few emails from non-Chicago-area residents asking where the hell our posts are on the Illinois Democratic lieutenant governor candidate controversy. Typical:
I figured you guys would be ALL OVER the insane ’roid-rage/would-be-wife-rapist/prostitute-girlfriend-at-knife-point lieutenant-governor candidate. Because, I mean… WOW.
You have to understand that we live near Chicago, and this sort of crap doesn’t faze any of us. Especially post-Blago. So some roided up guy tried to slice the throat of his hooker wife? That’s a typical afternoon for a Chicago alderman. And he’d still have time to call all of us racists.
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.