The Gormogons are most concerned for the people of Chile, who have been hit with an earthquake about 20 times more powerful than the one that crushed Haiti. We know now that the anticipated tsunami that almost evacuated Hawaii fortunately … Continue reading →
A bit of poli sci jiggery pokery that the Czar has learned tends to be alarming. Interesting stat that 66% of Americans think everyone in Congress should be dumped. But it means nothing, usually, because Americans do not actually vote … Continue reading →
As I started my day this morning I almost choked on my 10w-40 omelet when I saw this. Read it, including the unbelievable transcript of Rep. Pelosi’s (D-CA) responses. She stands by her claim that she’s running the most “honest, … Continue reading →
A word from a dear fan: Between you guys (including the hidden captions), the various NRO blogs, wattsupwiththat.com, and a couple others I regularly check, my productivity can really go to hell some days, and I thank all of you … Continue reading →
Of course, the Volgi’s favorite part is at 03:30. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →More comix ’n’ commentary from Dr. J, bidding fair to become the Gormogons’ comics’ page editor. He and the Czar are a dagger points—literally, Doc’s got some sort of Bowie knife and the Czar’s got some bizarro Circassian kinjal and … Continue reading →
This explains why the US isn’t backing the UK in the Falklands oil drilling dispute. Read it and see. Done? Okay, you might ask, this explained nothing. Why is the US snubbing one of our best friends? It is in … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s got a few thoughts on the Festivus-esque “airing of the grievances” that occurred yesterday in Washington. First, ‘Puter thought, and still thinks, that the party that spoke least was going to “win” the summit. Republicans spoke significantly less than … Continue reading →
Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →One thing that irks the Czar about conservatives is their innate reflex to demand a resignation. An Obama appointee knocks over a drink—some Congressperson calls for a resignation. An Obama appointee forgets to switch her watch back to Eastern time, … Continue reading →
Washington refused to endorse British claims to sovereignty over the Falkland Islands yesterday as the diplomatic row over oil drilling in the South Atlantic intensified in London, Buenos Aires and at the UN. Despite Britain’s close alliance with the US, … Continue reading →
Read this. Yeah, that’s the kind of support we’re getting from the democrats and why they need a swift gut-boot from the Mandarin. All of them. Now. GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to … Continue reading →
If you’re a skeptic like the Czar, this sort of thing will blow whatever you’re drinking out your nose.Only Dr. Boli. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born … Continue reading →
Hmm. This doesn’t appear to be resizing right. Watch full screen or at the original site, if that’s the case on your screen. Denmark Introduces Harrowing New Tourism Ads Directed By Lars Von Trier Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions … Continue reading →
Can you imagine what would happen if President Obama, faced with the economic recession, had given this as his inauguration speech? What would have happened to his support? Yes, it is a real speech from a historical leader taking power—but … Continue reading →
(Britain is a bit like Greece except with the Elgin Marbles) quoth Stuttaford. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Who knew people were interested in social security reform, much less the nefarious Gormogon operative Dr. J. He makes a point ‘Puter had meant to make, but in his bleary-eyed haze, forgot to do so. Dr. J. writes: Puter, Loved … Continue reading →
Apparently the cold in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canadia (not misspelled — Canada is also known as America’s Hat) has frozen the brains of a pair of teachers. An unidentified male teacher performed a lap dance on a female gym teacher, one … Continue reading →
Gormogon operative JAB writes in with a response to ‘Puter post regarding social security. ‘Puter hopes the response is satirical. Either that, or Mandarin’s gaslighting ‘Puter by zapping operatives with his orbital mind control lasers again. Thus spake JAB: Yo, … Continue reading →
Apropos Czar’s post below, ‘Puter offers the following. First, Czar, as always, is correct. Second, what’s up with Czar’s post last night? ‘Puter fears he has been called out as a simpleton. Even more fearfully, ‘Puter fears he is too … Continue reading →
So the New York Times still cannot see straight. From a wobbly attempt to portray the GOP’s attitudes on a healthcare reform meeting as cautious: Republican Congressional leaders on Tuesday rejected President Obama’s challenge to come up with a single … Continue reading →
Boy, today was a special day, wasn’t it, boys and girls? You got posts from all five of us! First, you woke up to another Mandarin Theater of the Absurd post. Then, the Czar raged about common sense because he … Continue reading →
Well, this is one of the stranger things you’ll see all day. It’s not work-safe, strictly speaking, due to a couple naked cartoon pinups. Love the song, though. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Remember folks, for every guy in a Disney suit, there’s a sweaty, stifling, stifled drama student. Great singing, but man, modern musicals must be dreadful if these are show-stoppers. Via James Lileks’s Twitter feed. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions … Continue reading →
…don’t compare to those you can do when stuck in the Pittsburgh airport overnight during a Snowpocalypse. Marvelous. Whoever this girl is, we love you. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Dr. J, who keeps his stethoscope in his ABA-era afro, writes in with an excellent point of how political polemic corrodes the mind, to the point where black is white and down is up. I have been historically amused by … Continue reading →
The Gormogon alert service is up and running as evidenced by the rapid feedback we received from Gormogon operative GD: I agree that, overall, the tax plan needs a serious revision and I would support just about anything that makes … Continue reading →
I’ve always been a fan of simplifying the tax code. A flat tax. A segmented tax. Whatever. Make it simpler you gain a few things, including a reduction of required government oversight in the form of the I.R.S. It may … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s going to do it. He’s reaching out to touch the third rail of politics: Social Security. Here goes. Social Security is bankrupting the United States. Our promises made significantly outstrip our ability to pay. Instead of pretending the problem … Continue reading →
And ‘Puter’s not just talking about the Democrats’ amazing technicolor stimulus package, health care reform and the jobs bill Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) stated yesterday: “Men, when they’re out of work, tend to become abusive.” Well, Sen. Reid, … Continue reading →
And now hot dogs are the deadliest thing in the world. All right, parents, take the Czar’s quick advice. If your kid is too small to eat hot dogs without wolfing them down sideways, cut their hot dogs into small … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin found this little item while reading the Political Grapevine at Fox News.com: And finally, the BBC reports a woman trying to post a help wanted ad was told her request for “reliable and hard-working” applicants wasn’t allowed because … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s been offline today as a result of consipring events. Primarily, Spawn the Lesser has a double ear infection and a wicked cold and was, hence, home. Now ‘Puter fears Spawn the Lesser’s younger, haler immune system has transmogrified the … Continue reading →
Although not as financially disastrous as Cap and Trade, know what’s just as dumb? Preparing a resolution that global warming is not a possibility. But that’s exactly what South Dakota just did. The whole point of our condemnation of Cap … Continue reading →
Super secret operative EC writes in with new from the field: Your Czarness: I know you follow this kind of thing, but you may have missed this item. Looks to me as if the Israelis just moved the goal posts … Continue reading →
Walter Koenig’s son Andrew, who appeared in Growing Pains, is missing and feared dead by suicide. This is perhaps the strangest sentence the Czar wrote this week. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin is pleased to share with you this piece of fan mail from Gormogon operative DF: Good one Centurion, liked it, liked it.Keep that binary humor coming! Well DF, all I can say to that is: 0100100100100000011010000110111101110000011001010010000001110100011010000110100101110011001000000110100101110011001000000110100101101110001000000111001001100101011100110111000001101111011011100111001101100101001000000111010001101111001000000111010001101000011001010010000001100011011000010111001001110100011011110110111101101110001000000111010001101000011000010111010000100000010010010010000001110000011011110111001101110100011001010110010000100000011101000110100001100101001000000110111101110100011010000110010101110010001000000110010001100001011110010010111000100000001000000100111101110100011010000110010101110010011101110110100101110011011001010010000001001001001000000110100001100001011101100110010100100000011011100110111100100000011010010110010001100101011000010010000001110111011010000110000101110100001000000111100101101111011101010010000001100001011100100110010100100000011101000110000101101100011010110110100101101110011001110010000001100001011000100110111101110101011101000010111000100000001000000100001001110101011101000010000001100001011100110010000001100001011011000111011101100001011110010111001100100000011101110110010100100000011010000110111101110000011001010010000001110100011010000110000101110100001000000111100101101111011101010010000001100011011011110110111001110100011010010110111001110101011001010010000001110100011011110010000001100110011011110110110001101100011011110111011100100000011101000110100001100101001000000111001101101001011101000110010100100000011000010110111001100100001000000110000101101100011101110110000101111001011100110010000001100110011001010110010101101100001000000110011001110010011001010110010100100000011101000110111100100000011001000111001001101111011100000010000001110101011100110010000001100001001000000110110001101001011011100110010100101110 We now … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin would like to share with you this correspondence from Gormogon operative GD regarding the Iranian Navy post: Also note: the C-803 surface-to-surface missile this thing sports is capable carrying of a nuclear warhead. If I were a burgeoning … Continue reading →
One thing that comes up a lot at the Castle is the intelligence of our readers. If there were a quantifiable way to assess the intelligence of someone, some sort of quotient perhaps, you would probably find that the combined … Continue reading →
Gormogon operative KM, strategically located close to the geographic center of the US (closer than us, anyway, so he gets the job), writes in. Most High and Honorable Czar, I don’t live anywhere near Tracy, California, thankfully, but hasn’t there … Continue reading →
General Alexander Haig passed away this weekend at the age of 85. For most of us, he was the first lesson in how a strong Secretary of State could influence foreign policy for the better. President Reagan picked an extraordinary … Continue reading →
In what is another disturbing advancement in Iranian military growth, the Associated Press is reporting that this thugocracy has launched its first locally built naval destroyer. According to the Iranians, the new shipped named the Jamaran is armed with anti-ship, … Continue reading →
Listen carefully. The media, and in turn the scientific community, seem to be creating this specious battle between Global Warming Supporters and the group known as Denialists. The real jackasses are a tiny portion found on both sides. On the … Continue reading →
This kind of weird news is right up the Mandarin’s alley. Gormogon operative GD has taken time off his turbulator project to point us to a twisted story that the city of Tracy, California, is going to start charging residents … Continue reading →
Tim Pawlenty delivered a tirade at the CPAC conference against President Obama’s progressivist policies, comparing the President to Tiger Woods and convervatives to Elin Nordegren. Democratic National Committee spokesperson Brad Woodhouse said… The American people don’t need more empty sound … Continue reading →
The Czar called his old buddy, the Dalai Lama, up this evening and asked about his historic meeting with President Obama. The Lama sighed and said “Two and a half freaking hours, and all he did was talk to me … Continue reading →
A possible case of pre-incarnation. The Czar suspects that late Hamas leader Mahmoud al-Mabhouh could be distantly related to Mummy actor Arnold Vosloo. His sources are checking into it now. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ … Continue reading →
No justice, no peace! Free what’s-her-name! Racist jocks made her do it! DURHAM, N.C. — Durham police late Wednesday arrested the woman who four years ago falsely accused three Duke University lacrosse players of raping her.Crystal Mangum assaulted her boyfriend, … Continue reading →
On the other hand, as we’re all parents (a couple even of daughters), one suspects the Gormogons are emotively, if not perhaps legally, in this guy’s corner: “I shot him in the nuts with bird-shot because he was beating my … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin was perusing the help wanted section, when I found this job posting for a technical writer position at Exelon Nuclear Partners. The only required skills for the job were, nuclear experience –no problem, I maintain the cold fusion … Continue reading →
Unlike GorT below, when ‘Puter thinks of WAGs, these are the WAGs (in body paint) that he likes to think of. Link is mostly SFW. If your boss doesn’t mind hot, semi-nude women in body paint. 'PuterAlways right, unless he … Continue reading →
From the cartoon section at Townhall.com The MandarinThe Mandarin, whose real name is 吏恆, joined the order in 1309, and introduced the Gormogons into England during the 18th Century. The Mandarin enjoys spending time with his pet manticore, Βάρἰκος, or … Continue reading →
Have you ever been asked how long it would take you do complete a task you’ve never done before? You might have familiarity with the general approach or of some of the steps required, but in general it comes down … Continue reading →
We all know that teachers’ unions function mainly as sources of reelection funds for lefty candidates. The lefty candidates, once elected, then use the unions as a passthrough mechanism for transferring taxpayer dollars to unpopular leftist causes. Don’t believe ‘Puter? … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s governor, David Paterson (D-NY), snuck a little noticed provision into his budget proposal for next fiscal year. Fortunately, the New York Post decided to actually read the budget before legislators vote on it. The provision requires state social service … Continue reading →
So, the good folks over at Air Power Australia have put out maybe the most comprehensive open-source study of the PAK-FA, and whaddya know, it looks to be a hell of a plane. In fact, it’s so good that if … Continue reading →
Remember all the hub-bub about the “illegal” wiretapping of international calls from or to people on terrorist watchlists? You had things like this and this. Since then the furor has died down and the Obama administration has actually defended and … Continue reading →
In today’s New York Post, we learn a public sector union leader, one Chris Mesley of the Albany (NY) police officers’ union, committed a major gaffe. That is, Mr. Mesley told the truth. He said, referring to the union’s contract: … Continue reading →
This is awesome. GD writes in to respond to Dr. J. I prefer Chess: “A model of decorum and tranquility become, like any other sport, a battleground for rival ideologies to slug it out with glee…” Keep on Gormogonin’GD Thanks, … Continue reading →
Front-row seat! In free! No pay! Doc writes: The recent spate of retirement announcements (Bayh) and rumors (Mikulski) has gotten me thinking that Congress will pass the Senate bill and then tweak it via reconciliation during the lame-duck session when … Continue reading →
Thank you for your thoughtful coverage of the opening ceremonies. I have always been a fan of ‘the Olympics’ since I was knee high to a grasshopper. Growing up in the 70s and 80s, the Olympics were more a proxy … Continue reading →
We always strive to be accurate. So in fairness, Dr. Phil Jones said that “This trend (0.12C per decade) is positive, but not significant at the 95% significance level.” So while we chew on what that means, note the graph … Continue reading →
Ah, Moe Lane. Is there anyone who puts it better? Today, Mr. Lane notes New Jersey governor Chris Christie’s (R) recent excoriation of the Garden State’s bloated budget. Check out his post, here. You’ve got to read the entire thing; … Continue reading →
Building on today’s (apparent) theme of government profligacy, here’s another article from National Review detailing the disconnect between government pay and the overall economy. In his article Kent Osband lays out a statistical case against government employee pay and benefits. … Continue reading →
Actually, that’s not entirely true. Dems just love unions more. They’d happily run a school bus over a highway paved with kids to keep their union masters satisfied. And, most of all, Dems love creating a permanently dependent, infantilized, Democrat-voting … Continue reading →
Illinois pension funds are broke, and its pension obligation notes (used to finance current pension obligations) are rated junk. As John Derbyshire notes in ‘Puter’s post immediately below, many pension obligations are guaranteed by law or constitution. Here’s ‘Puter’s serious … Continue reading →
John Derbyshire at NRO has a post this morning concerning public sector union employees and their cancerous spread. Mr. Derbyshire implies that if the United States does nothing, its public sector unions will bankrupt the country, much as Greece’s public … Continue reading →
And ‘Puter was not an allegedly gay figure skater, so he said nothing. Well, ‘Puter can stay silent no longer. Via Drudge, definitely flamboyant and allegedly gay American men’s figure skater Johnny Weir received threats from animal rights activists for … Continue reading →
Looks like “consensus” isn’t what it used to be. Dr. Phil Jones, one of the central figures to the recent problems with the pro-AGW theories and data and recent former director of the University of East Anglia’s Climatic Research Unit … Continue reading →
Read the whole thing, it’d have to be scissored into a couple dozen bits to get all the good stuff. Here’s the beginning. The first meeting of the loftily named U.S.-Russia Bilateral Presidential Commission’s Civil Society Working Group took place … Continue reading →
The parallelism, excellent! We’ll pull out of Iraq, soon and responsibly (is there any other way?); also, we’ll close our eyes and click our heels together three times and wish upon a star over and over again until Israelis and … Continue reading →
By the way, did anyone catch that puff piece before the Opening Ceremonies, in which a possibly inebriated Tom Brokaw attempted to introduce Canada to Americans, who apparently have never heard of it? No? Picture this. For five minutes, you … Continue reading →
Gormogon operative (in charge of our lunar engineering project—laugh now, but when we puts wings on the thing and sail it around the solar system, you’ll say it’s cool) FJR writes in with her thoughts on Vancouver’s opening ceremonies: Greetings, … Continue reading →
Tough couple of months for the Global Warming crowd, eh? Turns out data corruption was so bad at the Climate Research Institute that results had to be fudged, forged, or fooled. And, uh, the glaciers are not quite melting. Sorry … Continue reading →
Quick thoughts on the Opening Ceremony of the Olympics? – Beijing? A cacophony of dissonant sounds and a billion dollars worth of LED displays to show the world how prosperous China is, especially when it bulldozes a stadium over its … Continue reading →
We mean that sincerely. We are also relieved you did not wait to get treatment, but got the needed surgery before your party dickered with the way we do healthcare in the country. Heck—if today’s system is good enough for … Continue reading →
Oh yeah. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →The BBC News is outraged enough to report that Iran, the filthy scoundrels, is blocking communications among its residents. Evidently the BBC feels that government control of media is a bad thing. Evidently the BBC still charges a licensing fee … Continue reading →
Just when I finish shoveling out the driveway from the latest snow plow pass and power is restored, I get the first shots of the rants from the AGW crowd: record snows are in line with our AGW theories! SnOMG!#@#!#!! … Continue reading →
This guy has clearly been reading ‘Puter’s anti-public union screeds approvingly. ‘Puter’s just dissapointed he didn’t get a shout out. Excellent job otherwise, Mr. Fancypants New York Post columnist. Or a Hello Kitty sticker. Like the one to the right. … Continue reading →
Not that way, perv. ‘Puter and Czar just got their Australian hunting licenses and are packing for rabbit-killing safari in Australia. The hunting weapon? Dynamite. So chock full of awesome. WIN! 'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. … Continue reading →
‘Puter was reading ABC News’ totally lame and unimaginative “Top 7 Things To Do When Snow Keeps You Home.” The weakness of the list inspired ‘Puter to write down the Top 7 things your Gormogons do to pass the time … Continue reading →
Last week we discussed the iPad as a potential device to enable a resurgence in board games. At least it would enable a “virtual board game” where players in various physical locations could play Monopoly, Sorry, and the like. Especially … Continue reading →
The Czar is reading reports of Iranian protests as claims more than facts on both sides. Since media has been largely blacked out, most information on protests is arriving via Twitter and Youtube. Many reports seem credible, but with anyone … Continue reading →
Gormogon operative JS writes in, taking time from a very special mission of overseeing work on our underwater base on the Atlantic seabed. Sorry, Illinois, for the earthquake yesterday. Since no one was hurt, we can safely admit that was … Continue reading →
Cross your fingers, folks. Update: Interesting live blog from Planet Iran here. Some excerpts already: * * 9:00 a.m. : The north western city of Tabriz is already in turmoil. People have attacked the P.A. systems and loudspeakers and broken … Continue reading →
Read the whole thing. A democratic revolution in Tehran could well prove the most momentous Mideastern event since the fall of the Ottoman Empire. A politically freer Iran would bring front and center the great Islamic debate of our times: … Continue reading →
Really, really, you decided to name the train line that services the heart of Atlanta’s Asian community the yellow line. Your Mandarin is one who usually derides those who are hyper-politically correct, or take advantage of these situations to enhance … Continue reading →
Former Representative Charlie Wilson (D-TX) has passed away. The Gormogons express their condolences to the family. You may remember him as the subject of a whoppingly distorted biopic entitled Charlie Wilson’s War, in which Hollywood attempted to rewrite the history … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s been thinking about public sector unions for years now. As a result, he’s got a number of half-formed ideas banging around in his head, just trying to get out. Here’s one that’s been trying to cohere for some time … Continue reading →
The Czar’s ignitor went out in his furnace last night around midnight. So he went to the basement, confirmed the furnace was working but not producing heat, and at exactly 12:31am called the emergency 24-hour help line that was on … Continue reading →
Gormogon followers who take careful notes—and those are the kind who don’t get tossed into Ghettoputer’s Saturday night “Party Pit”—may remember your Volgi’s offhand remark (while discussing the effect of serial, mostly unintentional distortions of media on the world’s familiar-but-wrong … Continue reading →
From the Canadian CBC (link provided just in case you don’t believe me): George Lucas is tackling his first musical, a film about the Tuskegee Airmen, the first group of African-American pilots. According to the Hollywood Reporter, Lucas is working on … Continue reading →
Let me just add that part of Russia’s pique is due to the fact that Iran has been distancing themselves a bit from their former patron, due to having found a newer, deeper-pocketed partner in crime who hasn’t historically occupied … Continue reading →
…when the Weimar Republic tried to inflate its was out of its (brutal, to be sure) reparations, the Left keeps recommending it as an economic panacea. Look, judicious increases in the money supply are desirable and even necessary on occasion. … Continue reading →
Perpetually not getting the attention it deserves is Iran, who again graciously extended its middle finger to the world. The Czar likes to imagine the world as a grade school playground; Iran tends to be the weird kid that no … Continue reading →
Is that what Tōjō said to FDR? I forget. So Dr. J, the Gormogons’ mid-south operative, writes in with the following news story and some clever analysis reminiscent of that time he dunked from the foul line. Iran anniversary ‘punch’ … Continue reading →
Gormogon operative G.W. writes in from our Nation’s Capital wondering where we’ve been on D.C.’s post Heller decline in crime rate. The Gee Dub gently admonishes ‘Puter thusly: You guys write about DC crime stats in a while? 2009 numbers … Continue reading →
Ah, unions. Is there no scum you are above defending? Apparently not. ‘Puter rails and rails against teachers’ unions, mostly for fiscal reasons. Over at Big Journalism, James Hudnall posts on another important reason to hate teachers’ unions: teachers’ unions … Continue reading →
